Breaks Free

Dressing Up

2009-10-04T18:53:00.003+08:00

(this post is here just in case imageshack loses my pic :p )

Halloween is coming up and it's dressing up time! I've brought a couple of costumes way back and I've never really gotten around trying them on and taking some pics..

Then I couldn't decide if I prefer it with the black g-string or the red g-string.. so I just went without :p

And of course the pics are taken with the help of Nu Bra :p

pictures

2008-06-19T13:46:00.004+08:00

Lg's birthday is coming up and I've got a surprise planned up for him :) I was cracking my head, trying to think of something to do for him which I haven done before.. and after much web surfing, I finally settled on dressing up :p

I'm having so much fun shopping online, the costumes and lingerie are all so pretty!! I'm picking some more up from my seller tmr, I really can't wait!

Was gonna surprise lg tonight with a nice homecooked dinner but before that, I had to have my own share of fun, so sweetie and I arranged for a preview in the afternoon. Unfortunately work beckons and .. .. ...

too bad my dear.. but I'm really not rubbing salt into your wounds :p but since u can't see it in person, I have to show u somehow..

I was all ready to answer the door dressed in this.. and u know I dun like vpl.. ..

Showing just enough and not too much..(getting all trigger-happy since I have the place all to myself..)

But this is only the starter.. the surprise I got for my lg is.. ..
Presenting.. ... .. The French Maid costume!

I look so damn cute in it! The only thing is that it's a little too long for my liking, but it's angmo size and me is hobbit.. oh well..

Now this is known as the power of NuBra.. it's not real but it sure looks good :p

So Long..

2007-02-26T22:03:00.001+08:00

Farewell to this blog.

This blog had served me well, it's the perfect place to vent my frustrations, explore my fantasies and I got the added bonus of knowing people through it :p But as mentioned before, I need to shift and here's my new blog url:

http://thegirlwithsakura.wordpress.com

darandjay and breaks free had outlived their lifespan, they don't really mean anything much to me anymore, but I'm keeping my email add, it's too troublesome to change to a new one.

darandjay stands for me and D and breaking free stands for me being free of the cage I've kept myself in, but neither is me right now.

My feelings for D had faded away, even if I'm asking him out now, it's as a friend and nothing else, we've broke up more than 2 years back and I'm already married, it just doesn't make sense for me to hold on anymore. There are times where I miss him out of the blue but such incidents are getting less frequent and recently there's periods of time where I totally forgot about him. D will always be in my mind, in the back of my mind.

I realize over time that walls and cages are there for a reason and there's no need for me to break free of them coz I have the keys to the door. Occasionally I'll let myself out for some fun but at the end of the day, I'll always go back to my little cage, I like it that way, I feel secure in it.

So it's time for this blog to retire.. it's time for a new chapter..

Disturbing

2007-02-26T12:16:00.000+08:00

I've been reading some stuff and it kinda unsettled me.

I think I'm pretty open when it comes to sex, I dun mind flings, I dun mind a purely sexual relationship, but when it comes to multiple partners with people I hardly know, I can't do it. There's no such thing as one night stand for me coz I dun like sleeping with a stranger, I gotta know the person. Sex is still just sex but it's more than just having a drink together, the least I have to know is the person's sexual history.

Girls are way more susceptible to STDs than guys, it's just the way we're built, I seriously do not want to get anything unpleasant. And sleeping with a stranger is just so clinical, you fuck then you leave, without even knowing the person's name?! What if something happens and 10 years down the road, all you can tell your child is that his dad is tall and dark, now how sad is that? Or worst, you can't even remember how he looks like coz you're drunk!?

It's one thing to be open, it's another to be casual and stupid.

I seriously do not understand this guy, first he flirts with me, then he tells me about "the issue" and then like it never happened, he flirts with me again. I really dunno what to make out of him, that issue is not a small matter and yet.. .. I know I'm being a busybody but once someone tells me about an issue on such a scale, I would feel involved and the need to do something, to help out some way, and there he goes brushing the matter aside.

If you don't need my help, then don't tell me about it, dun talk about it then brush it off.. I dun like the way he's handling the situation, it's just being irresponsible, but then again, who am I to judge him. Shall not waste my time on him, he's not a good person anyway. I really don't like it when someone contacts me only when he needs me to do something for him.

Anyway M has been trying to get me out and I've been trying to get D out. Funny eh, the person you dun wanna see will always call you and the person whom you want to see will never call you.

Let's fling baby

2007-02-23T15:09:00.000+08:00

Flinger, what an interesting term. From the comments, it's funny to know that some people are actually naive enough to think that flingers don't exist.

Flings, I've talked about this before.

I dun need a reason to get a fling, I get a fling because I want to. I dun really understand why people need justification for the things they do, like some of my friends, we fuck simply because we want to, coz it's enjoyable. Do you need a reason to have a great time?

Why make things so complicated? Why bother to come up with silly reasons? I want a fling coz my gf is not free.. huh? How 15-year-old is that?? gee..

Let's be honest here, who doesnt like to fuck around? Who doesnt like to know that they are desirable? Who is not curious about sex outside of a relationship? We are humans, we're born curious. Some people suppress their urges, others pretend that they are holy, and some condemn people who gives in..

I prefer to be honest, if I am attracted to you, I'll probably bed you. But before that, I'll make it clear that I'm in a relationship and I'm not gonna give it up coz of some random guy. A fuck is just a fuck, a dick is just a dick.

It's always a very clear cut thing for me, sex is sex and love is love, love can lead to sex, sex can lead to love, but these two things are no way dependant on each other, if it is, I dun think we'll have many children running around, do you really believe that all married couples love each other? Being married for 3 weeks, I can safely conclude that the greatest thing in marriage is not love, it's tolerance. You don't stay together coz you love each other, you live together coz you can tolerate each other.

Maybe love is the reason why we learn to tolerate, but there's a lot of other reasons for so, why else would my 23 year old friend bear a son for a man who's old enough to be her father? Coz he's fucking rich and drives a Mercedes SL350, that's why. No, I do not believe for a single moment that she loves him, she loves money more than anything else.

Alright, shall not bitch about other's personal life.. I'm looking forward to meet him soon :p and I miss my FB!! He seems to be so busy these day :(

Live hard, play hard, die young..

2007-02-23T15:06:00.001+08:00

According to this site..

Jess: At age 56 you will go down in a small raft, in your friend's pool, and subsequently drown.

Now the next thing to do is to find a friend who actually has a pool..

I like the idea of dying young, 56 is already too old for my liking :p

Year of the Boar

2007-02-21T16:28:00.000+08:00

I thought boars hump alot, so apparently this is not my year. No sex and only weight gain for the year.. gee.. what kinda year is this??

Happy times are always the shortest time, I love new year for the food and the gamble~~ It's a stereotype, but every race have their downfalls, drugs for malays, alcohol for indians and gambling for chinese. I can attest to that, I still love to gamble, even after my dad gambled all his money away, I guess it's in our blood. The lure of the casino..

It always start small, 50 cents becomes a dollar, then 2 bucks, then 10 and soon it's bets of 50 bucks. Lucky for me, lg sweetly decides to be my sponsor and though he lost 80 bucks, I went home 40 bucks richer.. hee.. Whatever I lost is his money, whatever I won is my money, see why I love my lg so much?

You win some, you lose some.. Since the start of the year, I've scored zero, not even once.. Of course lg wants it, but I wasn't really in the mood for it, I blame it on my unnecessary faith in modern science. I tampered with my monthly cycle and I ended up with 2 weeks of heavy spotting with 1 week of regular menses, that's like zero mood for sex for like 3 weeks~~ ok, not really zero mood but there's lots of things we can't do and I really dun want to stain the new sheets.

I miss being licked..

Everything should be over by the end of the week, so I'm gonna get my fill, I need a good fuck..

Oh, I became the blue eye monster over the new year :p My new blue contacts are a shade too light for my liking, but I've already brought 2 pairs :p so it's makeup with blue contacts for the next two months, which is tedious coz I hate to remove makeup, I'm a lazy shit :p

Adventurous

2007-02-21T15:43:00.000+08:00

Since I can't reply to comments at work, shall post my opinions then :p

About the cutting corner stuff, going at 80kph is really not that bad, I've tried higher speeds and I'm still alive. Gotta clarify, I'm not talking at hair-pin turns, if you go at 80, you would definitely flip, but Singapore dun have that many such turns, the only ones I can think of are at Kent Ridge and I was nowhere near there that day.

I love speed, I really do, D and I went up to almost 180 on one of the expressways, it was so thrilling, I thought I was going to die :p Then there was the time where we took the Woodlands Ave 2 exit from SLE, the bike was so close to the ground that his knees were just inches away, damn exciting.

I love myself too, so I choose my drivers and riders, that's why I never ride with a P plate. I know all my drivers and I know where their skills level are.

There is a thin line between being aggressive and reckless, my driver was definitely just being aggressive and not reckless. Hey, we're talking about guys who had been driving since they're 13 and had been driving for more than 10 years :p I have full confidence in them, plus I'm adventurous.

Giving a BJ while the driver is speeding.. hmm.. sounds dangerous, but that's right up my alley :p

P.S. No photos of my tattoo at the moment, the redness had went away but it's scabbing, so it's not that pretty for now :p When exactly do I start to put on moisturizer? My skin is so dry.. and it's itchy..

Aggressive

2007-02-18T04:16:00.001+08:00

It's been quite some time since I've experienced truly aggressive driving. I'm not talking about just driving fast and reckless, there's a very fine line between being reckless and being aggressive, and it's the latter I prefer. Being reckless is just being reckless, being aggressive means you drive fast but you take care of the safety factor.

Lg drives safe, coz it's my dad's car so he never speeds over 110 and basically he's like the guai guai driver, which is real good but I prefer some extra entertainment during the ride. Today I finally gotta cut a corner at 80kph, after so long, finally someone who drives the way that I like.

Fast and aggressive, just the way I like it.

Proud

2007-02-17T13:18:00.001+08:00

It's no biggie but I'm darn proud of myself. I finally got myself inked ^^/

Was it painful? Yah, of course it's fucking painful, was still bleeding when I got home. But it's really not that bad, there's more pressure and vibration then actual sharp pain. At the end of it, I was more tired than painful, I was too tense so I more or less stayed in the same position throughout. Bad idea.

It was super painful when he was doing the hip bone area, very very painful!! But after he done that part, the rest is a breeze, I have a high tolerance for pain anyway.

The whole thing only took me like 45 minutes, it was fast :p But the moment he started, what went through my mind was.. What the fuck am I doing?? It's not regret but I just can't believe that I was actually paying money for pain.. my gosh..

But it was worth the pain, it looks fantastic, just what I wanted :) Lg appreciates it coz I got his initials on me right now :p I love my sakura, they look damn good :)

I'm very happy and proud of myself.. hee..

Chinese New Year Shopping

2007-02-15T22:58:00.000+08:00

I hate to shop during the cny period, there's people everywhere, clothes are overpriced and majority are in ugly shades of red. I love red, my phone is red, my bag has red lines, my wallet used to be red, my favourite nail polish is red but the red has to be tasteful, not like the clothes I see everywhere, why would anyone want to dress up as an angbao?? *baffled*

I usually do my shopping on the second day of cny, that's when the real deals surface, 80% discounts and stuff, plus there no crowd and you can slowly take your time to browse.

For the past few years, I stopped getting new clothes for the new year, all I get would be new panties, bra and maybe socks.

This year, I'm getting myself something different, I'm gonna get myself a tattoo : ) Appointment had been made and hopefully by the time I post this, it will be done. So instead of new clothes to make me pretty, I'm gonna have a tattoo to make me look pretty : ) but like the bra and panties, not many people would be able to see it :p

There's a reason why I keep writing about getting a tattoo, coz I'm getting cold feet right now. The idea and everything is fantastic but when it comes to executive.. I.. .. It just seems scary ok, the drone of the needle.. I'm not that worried about the pain, neurofen can easily handle that, I'm more worried about the aftercare.. and when my mum finally finds out about it, I think she'll kill me. But I'm old enough to make my own decisions.. I think more likely, she would be disappointed in me, and I dun like that. But this is something I really want to do. haiz.. It's a tough choice.

I can't sleep last night and I kept wondering, am I really ready? I kept finding excuses for myself, new year is coming soon, I shouldn't get the tattoo now coz I would not be able to wear a lot of clothes.. I'm still having a little spotting, what if it happens when I'm doing the tattoo.. I'm really tired and they said on Miami Ink that it hurt more when the body is tired..

Excuses keep popping up in my head and I'm argh.. I really want to do it, but the other half of me dun want me to do it. Want, dun want, want, dun want. It's 1pm now as I'm writing this post, and I still have till 8pm to consider.. how how??

Lg is willing to sponsor and he's supportive about my decision, surprising eh.. I want to go for it, I'll make myself go for it, no point wasting the time to think about it anymore.

Life changing decision? Nah.. just a tough decision.

P.S. I've done it~~ I'm so proud of myself ><

Just a ride

2007-02-14T23:46:00.000+08:00

I was orchard earlier, shopping for party decorations. We were waiting for our cab when.. .. this green kawasaki boom past us.. for just a moment, I thought that was D, it's the exact same model but it's not him..

I still miss him at times, at the weirdest moment, I dunno why it's so but I guess when you love someone as much as I did, it never goes away.

There was a year where we did not celebrate V day, coz he had a paper due the next day, he sent me home right after school. I remember I was kinda upset and we fought over it, I dun think it's purely just the missing-v-day thing, there was something else too..

I wonder what he's doing right now, he have not been messaging me these days, I guess my change of status affected him. Oh well oh well..

I just miss being on a bike, I miss the sense of freedom. Any one care to give me a ride? Oh, big bikes only :p

Sing me a love song

2007-02-14T23:41:00.000+08:00

Drop me a line.. Suppose it's just a point of view, but they tell me I'm doing fine..

It's a quiet Valentine's day for me this year, lg have lessons tonight so no celebrations, just me going back home on my own. I never really liked to celebrate Valentine's , I dun see the point of being nice to your loved one for only one single day in the entire year, and I dun like to spend the money, an ugly rose for 10 bucks, please rob me instead, it's ridiculous.

But still I see a lot of guys holding bouquets and bouquets today. I seriously dun see the point of flowers, it's lovely to receive flowers but what I really like is something more practical, like a bag or whatever. Flowers are just a waste of money and space, you spend tons of money on something that dies in 2~3 days and I have to find a vase to place the flowers, no thank you, I rather receive a book.. Like A Series of Unfortunate Events (hor, mr frog :p)

That's just me, most girls still like the flowers and to them it's like a competition. It's disgusting, serious.. Few years back when I still spend v day alone, I would walk down the streets and enduring proud, stuck-up glances from girls with a bouquet in one hand and boyfriend on the other. *ahem* excuse me, if I have flowers as nasty looking as the ones they are holding on to, boyfriend as tiam as that, I rather stay single my entire life. Oh please, so what if you have a boyfriend and flowers? What's the point of having someone show they love you in one single day out of the entire year.

It's not jealousy, I simply don't see the point. Even if I dun have a boyfriend, I always have a date with myself. I like spending time alone with myself, my books and my thoughts. Having a date with myself is always the best date for I know exactly what I like, where I want to go and what I would like to have for dinner. LG is sweet and more often than not, he have no idea what I want, even when I drop obvious hints, so it's really better to have a date with myself.

Tonight I would be going to the library before heading home, it's time to spend some quality time with some intelligent company.

***
Now that was written in the afternoon.. It's 9 plus and I'm still in the office, what a Valentine's day, everyone went off for their dates and here I am, in the office munching on my cup noodles and doing decorations.. Indeed a unique way to spend V day eh..

Okay I volunteered to stay back to finish up the decorations, why spoil someone else's v day when I do have the spare time. Cut paste cut past.. Sometimes I do wonder if I'm an exec or a office girl. But it's always the moment, when they gasp in surprise and it makes it all worthwhile.

So Mr Super Big Boss, I do hope you appreciate everything we're doing for ya :p

My favorites

2007-02-13T20:24:00.001+08:00

This blog is now a year old.. One year back I started the blog coz I needed somewhere to vent my frustrations, I needed a fling but all I got was sub-standard guys, guys who think they know alot but have no fucking idea what a fling is supposed to be.

So the blog started from there, got the attention of some very interesting guys and things just moved on from there. It was not a smooth ride, there were a couple of ups and downs but it was still a great ride. I enjoy the attention I'm getting, I love the emails that readers send, I'm crazy over my FB, I love chatting with the few who have my msn, overall it's just a great experience.

I've changed a fair bit over the past year, for better or worse, I dun really care. Everyone is asking me if life had changed after marriage, nope, not a bit, maybe with the exception that I stay over at Lg's place more often. Life still goes on, whether I'm married or not.

Here's some of my favorites from the past year.. ^^/

My thoughts
The one on cheating - Cheating can be good
I enjoy being a robot - Feelings
Reflections - Mirrors
Believe me if you like - None of this is real
Online and offline - Online Persona
You've been warned - Reader discretion advised
Don't ask, just go - Destination Unknown
I choose.. .. me - Commitment
The place I call my own - I miss my little piece of heaven
Oh yes, I'm the great pretender - Change? Look deeper

My Men and the fun we have
My Fetish - Scent and Smells
My dragons and me - Affair with Dragons
One of those days - ever had those days
With D - another meeting
Another one with D - Shaven Cutie
Memories of D - Our first time
Fun in the office - Office.. Sex..Fireworks
The one that snared his attention - Sex in Science Fiction
Great FB are hard to find - Fits like a glove
Wet wet wet - Gush
More office fun - I don't have a strong heart
Slow and easy - Shall I?
Office part 3 - Letting loose
Water and more water - Watery fun

My Laogong
I love my laogong - Absence
Memory loss - Who is this person?

My Angel
Right person, wrong time - Bad timing

My Guide
101 guide to kissing - Hugs and Kisses
Can you tie a cherry stalk? - Cherry stalk knot 101 guide

Moral High Ground

2007-02-13T18:24:00.000+08:00

I almost fell into the trap and judge a friend as immoral, but when I had time to think about it, I realize, who I am to judge him?

He's old enough to choose his own path and know exactly what he's doing. Sometime shit just happens and he's not letting it get to him, so who I am to judge him?? Why do we always pity the person who falls into depression and not applaud the person who overcomes his circumstances and moves on with life?

Looking back, I was in the same situation and I did move on pretty quickly, I decided that I've learnt my lessons and I shall not waste any more time on that person. Now that my friend had done that, I'm actually considering him immoral? I'm actually thinking about him in disgust? Then what about my past self?

It's so human to feel this way, to put others down so that you can feel better about yourself.

I shall not judge.

Sex is like hacking. You get in, you get out, and you hope you didn't leave something behind that can be traced back to you.

The guy with long..

2007-02-10T10:01:00.000+08:00

.. lashes :p Martin, what a nice name :p

It's was a 2 1/2 hour long meeting but I'm perfectly fine with it coz of the eye candy, he's so darn cute when he laughs :p Oh I love it when he stare at me in the eye, is he hitting on me?? hmm..

Martin is not an incredibly cute guy, at first.. He's eurasian, with grey/green/brown (I can't decide and I'm *shy* to look at him for too long) eyes and the longest lashes ever!! He's the kind that grows on you and with that intelligence of his.. *swoons* I love men who are smart and he's one of them, he thinks of everything, brings up very valid point and explains things very clearly. Granted he's from Compliance, he's still above average in paying attention to details and this guy can really think ahead.

I was sitting next to him in the meeting, staring at him most of the time :p Just love he when he turns round to talk to me, ask me questions and crack jokes.. he's so damn cute!!!

This is the kinda colleague that makes work so much more pleasant, can I have more meetings with Martin around? Or that cute guy from audit? Or that damn tall and cute guy from ops??

Thank goodness for WWW

2007-02-08T20:58:00.001+08:00

WWW is like the best invention ever, and together with google, they help answer almost all of my questions.

Today I found this great site, I finally know that what I'm experiencing now is somewhat normal.

See I'm trying to skip my period, so instead of giving it the one week break after 21 pills, I start on a new pack. It worked fine initially, I managed to get through my wedding without having my period, but the problem came on the seventh day when I start bleeding. Technically if I'm on the pill, I should not experience bleeding, at most spotting, but here I am, bleeding for the past 5 days. It's irritating coz it's hard to tell the difference between spotting and bleeding, I'm getting cramps and I'm feeling dizzy and nauseous at night.

I'm really ok if I'm just having cramps and bleeding, but the nausea at night freaks me out, I dun get morning sickness, I just get really sick at night, my body clock is weird.. I'm not ready to have a child right now, and more importantly, I do not want a child AT ALL. I always hated children, it's ok if they are nice and quiet, I can still tolerate that, but once they start to scream or cry, god please give me patience to not strangle the child. I just don't like children and I don't think it's a matter of timing, I have zero patience and I believe in violence, kids are like puppies, you just have to hit them to discipline them. See what a bad parent I will become.

Damn I feel sick now.. But at least I'm 90% sure I'm not pregnant *phwee* 10% of doubt coz I did miss one pill.. Darn the pills for making me feel sick, love the pill coz they're making my boobs bigger :p

Other than Yasmin, can anyone recommend any other tested and proven contraceptive? I dun want IUD though.

It's official

2007-02-08T17:57:00.000+08:00

They finally blocked blogger at work. It doesn't mean I can't blog, it just means I have to wait till I'm back home before I can post and I can't read or answer comments, darn..

So it's time to move over to wordpress, they'll block that sooner or later, but at least I can still use it now, plus I've thought of moving some time back, just too lazy to do so, now is a great time to do so.

Now the question is, should I migrate everything over, Wordpress have a tool that can migrate everything from blogger over to wordpress, including the comments.. Or should I still keep this blog and do a fresh start?

My head is spinning, shall think about it over the weekend.

Did I mention that I'm finally going to get my tattoo?? I think I did.. did I? Menstrual migraine is a bitch. Well I just got the sketch from the tat artist and it looks fantastic! Now all I need is to schedule a time to go down and do it ^^/

MOS

2007-02-07T21:34:00.000+08:00

Not the club, I'm referring to the fast food. Clubbing to me is like an alien concept, and the last time I went clubbing was like 7 years back, at Sparks.. I dun have a life, it's ok, I like it this way.

I always love Mos burger, I like all things japanese ^^/ Food, phones, guys, everything p(^^)q

These days, I can't have Mos burger without thinking of my angel, just like I can't have Subway without thinking of JH. JH is this incredibly cute ex-colleague of mine, the two of us used to lunch together, throwing aside the rest of the colleagues. I like him alot and he.. well he could not get over his ex then, so there. Oh, last heard, he got back together with his ex after being apart for 2 years, good for him.

Our Subway days, it's always the same sandwich with the same drink and cookie.. 6 inch subway melt on honey oat; only lettuce, tomato and jalapeno; mayo, red wine and pepper; ice tea; macadamia cookie. It's like a routine for us.

During such lunches, we talked about everything and anything, we were darn close at that time, if he's not so hung up about his ex at that time, we would probably had slept together. Oh well.. wasted chance. He's really a very cute guy, tall, incredible smile and nice hair, I would had loved to spoon with him :p that's his favourite position :p

Angel and I love to hang out at Mos, not the most romantic place but we're supposed to be just friends eh :p He loves the ebi rice burger and I like the new salmon burger, so again, it's always the same food, ice milk tea for both of us, fries with mayo.. It's comfort food for us.

Angel is a very thoughtful guy, whenever the place is cold, he would make sure I have fries the moment I sit down coz the fries are piping hot and will warm me up, and if I'm still cold, he would sit beside me and hold my hands.. How can I not feel anything for a guy like so?

I love my Mos burger.. and I love my angel who's always there with me ^^

Scent of a man

2007-02-07T17:56:00.000+08:00

A man smells the best right after sex, at least to me. I love the way his scent changes, from fresh and clean, to musky and sexy..

When you mix the smell of cum, sweat and cologne, you get the ultimate turn on, who needs foreplay when I can get to smell my man :p I just love smelling my man, savoring his unique scent and smells.

Every guy's cum have a distinct smell too.. Laogong (I still find it weird to call him that :p shall call him lg for short in the future) has a pretty strong smell, not unpleasant but a little too sharp for my liking.. Now someone smells milder, but with just the right amount of musk to make him so darn sexy.. Darn the pheromones.. D smells somewhat similar to lg, but I seriously cannot remember how he smells like anymore.. You can never forget a scent, but it does not mean I can recall exactly what it's like :p As for him, can't really say I know his smell coz I usually swallow, so there's no way to really smell it.

Boy, I miss snuggling up to him and enjoying his scent.

What do I like about sex?

2007-02-06T15:31:00.000+08:00

Someone asked me this question over the weekend and it got me to wonder, what exactly do I derive from sex?

Of course there's the physical stuff, who doesn't like an orgasm?? Sex is great stress relief as well as a great workout. And hey, getting eaten out by some guys is better than striking lottery, especially if they can repeat that 5 times in a row in a single night.. man.. those were the days..

But then is that all to it? I realise I love sex coz it brings me closer to the other person, it's like we're no longer just friends, we're connected at a deeper level (pun intended). That's why I've only slept with guys that I'm interested in, but interest does not equate to love, it just means that I find them interesting or they have some things that intrigues me.

I did went overboard with Angel, emotions just ran wild, I have no idea what was happening and before I knew it, I'm in love. Good thing, bad thing? It's just being in love, I'm not going to act on it, I'm just gonna tuck him in the corner of my mind, thinking about him when I have the time, but I'm not going to proactively ask him out or whatever. There are some people that you just cannot have and it should stay that way.

I'm secretly in love with my Angel and I think he knows about it, for a guy that smart, it will not be a surprise. But neither one of us speaks about this topic, it's just never surface and we make sure it doesn't. Why spoil the relationship with love? I'm happy with the way things are right now.

I would love to know him better through sex, but then again, I don't want to really know him that well. Right now Angel is the perfect guy, the perfect gentleman with no flaws, the best that I could ever have but never touched.. I dun want to know any flaws of him, I don't want to make him human coz if he does become more human, I would fall deeper in love with him.

Sex is like conversation, on a deeper level.. Sex shows you exactly what a guy thinks about you, something to be fucked and thrown away or something to be held and cherished.. So there is my answer.

Pregnant~~

2007-02-06T12:00:00.000+08:00

Not me, not in a million years for that matter :p

This guy is pregnant *gasps*

I'm so looking forward to what his baby can do ^^/

Watery fun

2007-02-05T21:19:00.001+08:00

We had a blast on Friday, everything was almost perfect ^^/

The room looked lovely, I looked pretty : ) husband looked great, music was good, food was wonderful, service was exceptional, it was the perfect reception :) We made the right choice when we chose Ritz Carlton, it was well worth the price.

After the ceremony, we were just lazing in the room, enjoying the view from the bath tub.. It's the Ritz, I just love their bathroom :) and apparently husband did too, and we made love in the tub sans the water..

It was great making love for the first time as a married couple, the feeling is so different and intense.. We had fun but the tub is really not a great place for love making, it's just too hard :p So halfway through the session, we stumbled and fumbled to the bed, with him in me the whole time through.

Love making was sweet and slow.. Just the way I like it.

Next stop was the pool, we needed the jacuzzi to massage away all the aches.. it's so tiring to stand and walk for 2 hours in heels ok!! The pool is not too big, but it was empty so we were like children, laughing and giggling, the guests having a romantic dinner at Snappers must be darn irritated :p hee..

It was fun to soak in the cold jacuzzi pool, it was fucking cold so we were challenging each other to jump in, which we eventually did, for like 5 seconds before jumping right up and back to the hot jacuzzi pool. Who in the right mind would spend their time in the cold jacuzzi, it was so cold that my feet started to hurt :p

For those who know the layout of the Ritz's pool, the jacuzzi was right at the corner, far away from any prying eyes.. so a little adjusting of our swimsuits and we were fucking away in the jacuzzi.. :p It was really interesting, it's my first time to do it in a pool. Entry was not very pleasant, water is never a great lubricant, but it got better..

Making love in the jacuzzi pool is a great cover, basically all the bubbling covers up the action so it just looks like you're bouncing up and down in the pool :p We were having a great time then some stupid guest have to take a stroll around the pool so we had to stop.. damn that guy.

Oh well, there's always a next time :)

Murphy's Law

2007-02-02T09:26:00.000+08:00

What can go wrong will go wrong.. That's why I'm making a point to keep my temper in check today, cannot cannot lose my temper coz things are bound to screw up :p My babe sweetly reminded me about this last nite.

I shall ren..

There's a very thin line between ren and bochup, I hope I will not fall into the latter...

For a person who's getting married, I'm not really that excited :p It's really more of relief that it's finally here and going to be over soon.. Finally.. finally it's going to be over.

We shall see exactly what will go wrong today :p Oh, so far I've already received 700 bucks in angpao, that's a good start :) Funds for my Koh Samui trip ^^/

I don't know how to love him

2007-02-01T06:11:00.000+08:00

I don't know how to love him.
What to do ...how to move him.
I've been changed ...yes, really changed.
I seem like someone else.

I don't know how to take this
I don't see why he moves me.

He is a man. He's just a man.
And I've had so many men before.
In many ways ... He's just one more.

Should I bring him down?
Should I scream and shout?
Should I speak of love ...
Let my feelings out.

I never thought I'd come to this ...
What's its all about?

Don't you think its rather funny
I should be in this position.
I'm the one who's always been so calm,
So cool ...no lover's fool...
He scares me so!

I never thought I'd come to this ...
What's it all about?
Yet, if he said ... He loved me, I'd be lost.
I'd be frightened.

I couldn't cope.
I'd turn my head
I'd back away.
I wouldn't know what to do.

This is so apt.. I love this song, it speaks of my feelings now with Angel.. Ironic that this is a christian song eh..

Angel angel.. will you ever know how I feel about you?

Stop it!!!

2007-02-01T05:52:00.000+08:00

I dunno what to make out of my feelings right now.. damn..

I.Cannot.Get.Involved.

I.Cannot.Get.Involved.

I.Cannot.Get.Involved.

I.Cannot.Get.Involved.

I.Cannot.Get.Involved.

I.Cannot.Get.Involved.

I.Cannot.Get.Involved.

It's not the first time I feel like I'm falling for him, how can you not fall for an angel?? Then again, how can you ever fall for an angel?

An angel belongs to no one, he comes and goes as he pleases. An angel cares but not love. An angel cares about everyone and not you alone.

He's an angel, he's untouchable.

I never really know how he thinks, I've only seen the surface of him.

It's so not fair that an angel appears but can never be mine.

Damn if I love him, damn if I don't.

Life hates me.

I.Cannot.Get.Involved.

I.Cannot.Get.Involved.

I.Cannot.Get.Involved.

I'm in love with my angel but he does not know and does not care.

Angel.. I just want to spend one more moment with you.

Angel.. take me away but don't go away.

Angel.. I love you.

On the phone

2007-02-01T05:43:00.000+08:00

In the middle of some action, his phone rang and he moved away to answer the call.. but hey, I'm not going to let some silly phonecall interrupt my fun.

Sliding up to him, I pressed my body against his back, slowly rubbing against him.. At the same time my tongue found his ear and I slowly started to explore his ear, gently giving him a tongue bath. Of course the other ear is not spared with my hands free :p

It's so fun to see him trying to talk normally on the call, in the end I won out and he ended the call abruptly with some silly excuse :p

I win.. hee.. ^^/

D loves to disturb me when I'm talking on the phone, many a times my mum called when we're making love and that bastard will continue touching and kissing me, loving the look I would give him at that moment of time. Good thing is, I can still talk pretty normal even when someone is eating me out. I is zai ok :p haha..

Now I understand why D loves to do that so much, the expression on sweetie's face when he cannot tong anymore.. ah.. *sweet memories*

When will I have the chance to do it again?

Sleepless

2007-02-01T05:20:00.000+08:00

I got woken up by bf's snores and here I am blogging away coz my mind is too active to sleep.

I'm kinda upset really, I dun like it when I'm .. .. ..

I'm socially inept, I can do one-on-ones but when it comes to group stuff, I tend to withdraw to myself and my phone, I just don't feel comfortable in a group situation, yeah, and I call myself a gemini, where's the social butterfly that I'm supposed to be?? It takes quite some time for me to get warm up with a person and at most times, I dun get friendly at all, I'm just tao by nuture, mom taught us to be so.

My mum only seems socially-ept on the surface, she hates interactions with others as much as we do. We were never allowed to play with other kids and we don't go out of the house much during holidays. Sounds sad but everyone have their own lifestyle, it comes to a point where I'm just very comfortable with the things I know.

I don't drink, I don't smoke, I don't go clubbing, I don't dance, I don't do shit.. I'm like this sqeaky clean person, I feel boring. I have no passion about my work, it's just a job that pays ok. I have no specific goals in life, I'm just drifting with the tide.

Life has no meaning, but I live on coz that's what I do. Living don't require courage, dying requires courage..

I miss the times where I'm with D.. I always wanted to die with him in a bike accident, the two of us, riding a bike to hell.. I already have the accident scene in mind, the screeching of brakes, the sliding of the bike, upclose and personal look of the road, the flow of blood and eventual darkness.. eternal darkness.

Why am I getting married? Why am I tying myself down so early in life? I'm only trying to make sense out of my life.. But it's not working.. The more I try to make out some sense, some pattern, the more I fail. There is no sense in life, there is no pattern for life does not care whether we're happy or not, it's just a game.

Men.. my life is revolves around men, friends always knew that I'm a zhong se qing you person, guys always have priority.

I hate to be the nice one. I hate to be the nice girl. Nice is just so.. Boring..

I'm boring, there's nothing interesting about me. What do I excel at? Nothing.

I really need some sleep, the more I blog the more depressed I am.. But when I try to sleep, certain images float into my mind, I can lie and say I don't care but it's not true. I do care and it hurts.. I dunno what to make out of the images.. I realised I've taken a step too far in things, I'm getting too involved..

Must.Hold.Back.

Must.Not.Have.Feelings.

Feelings are for humans.. Humans made from flesh and blood.. Me? I'm not human, mercury flows in my veins, I'm cold-blooded, I dun need other people, I just need myself.

No more, I cannot get involved right now and I shall not get involved.. Besides it's so one-sided, I'm going around in circles.

I don't even know what I'm blogging about anymore

Miami

2007-01-31T15:56:00.000+08:00

My big boss is heading over to Miami soon, darn.. I wanna go Miami too!! I wanna get tattooed by Chris Graver!!!

Oh I'm finally getting my tattoo :) It's been ages since I've talked about it but my mind is set, I'm going to do it, or at least go over the shop to talk to the tattoo artist this weekend or something.

Now I have the concept and more or less how I want it to look in my mind, I just need someone to translate my thoughts onto paper then my body. I've been doing my research online, looking through the works of local tattoo artists, asking for recommendations from friends. So far I've seen a few pretty interesting ones.

The one that sweetie recommended is cool, I like his works, and he did the piece by Chris Graver which I wanted (well some sorta). I like the way that tattoo turned out, but I'm bias, I still prefer Chris's piece :p My benchmark is way too high, Chris Graver is one of the best tattoo artist in the world and I'm trying to find someone who can be just as good as he is.. :p

Gotta be realistic and the ones that friends had recommended are real good at their work..

So far narrowed down to a few choices..

1. Jappie: Sweetie's recommendation. I love his portraits and he can do the sakura that I like.

2. Stevens at Serangoon: Bf's recommendation. Only thing is we dunno if he's still in this trade. And Serangoon plaza is like so darn sleazy, that's where my brother goes to get his hentai stuff :p

3. Far East: Spinnee's recommendation.. but I dun remember the name and details, gotta go dig my chat logs.. was it far east or somewhere else?? hmm..

4. Temple Street: M's recommendation. Supposed to specialize in Japanese style and he did the ones on M's legs which were really detailed.

5. Utopia Studio: Found this from the net, reviews seems pretty good and so far I like the work I've seen. But most of all, I love the website url coz it's angkongtiam.com!! So localized and hokkien :p and there bf and I were joking about searching for angkong.com for local tattoo parlors and I found this site :p

6. Peninsular Plaza: Mei's recommendation coz her friend did her tattoo there. Only interested coz the guy is supposed to be real cute :p probably just pop by to take a look but it's not in my consideration list.

Missed Period

2007-01-31T10:22:00.000+08:00

And for the first time I'm delighted over it :) In the past, missed period only spells trouble, but now I miss it by choice and it feels great.

Yasmin is really good, I can't say much about the losing weight part, but my skin cleared up and menses comes like clockwork, as long as I remember to take my pills on time. So far I've only missed a pill for a day, which I made up for the next day by taking two pills. Did my research and as long as I took 2 the next day, I'm protect.. *phwee*

It's amazing, I hardly get any zits, even when I'm surviving on like 5 hours of sleep, if it's in the past.. gosh I don't even dare to think about it.

By not having the 7 day pill-free period, menses will not come and that's what I'm doing now. My body is feeling fine, I'm not particularly moody (yesterday's incident don't count, I have the right to be upset at him) and I only have slight cramps.

Finally I'm in control of my body, no more having my holidays clashing with my period, being able to have sex without having any worries. Ok, I admit, I don't like to use condoms, I just don't like the rubber smell and it sorta hinders the pleasure :p I like it raw, I like to feel everything and not rubber. It's not safe, but it's not as if I'm sleeping around with any Tom, Dick and Harry, so far it's just bf and my sweetie, I haven even met him for the longest time.. And seriously I'm not interested in sleeping with anyone else right now.. not even M.

I'm crying in the chapel

2007-01-29T18:01:00.000+08:00

http://www.cowboylyrics.com/tabs/presley-elvis/crying-in-the-chapel-2832.html

I think this is the song, I can't really find the song and this is the nearest I can find.. I always thought that this is a real sad song, I have this idea that the guy is in the chapel, seeing the women he loves most marry another person, that's why I dun think it's the Elvis song coz that song seems to be like praising the lord.. hmm.. whatever..

I still feel like crying now.. and I did earlier, when I was alone..

Any normal person would be upset if they were in my situation.. Whoever goes to the Registry of Marriage alone? Everyone goes in hand in hand and I was there on my own, and if that's not bad enough, bf actually lost one of the forms that we needed to get our marriage certificate. That's about one of the few things I've asked him to handle for our solemnization and he manages to screw it up.

It's a form, it's not like it's a pin or whatever-not, is it that hard to keep it safe? Now exactly how much confidence can I have in a guy who does not bother enough to make sure that he have everything ready for the day?

My answer is not very much. I am really tempted to call everything off, he does not even care enough to get things done properly.

I was already upset with him last night, when he told me that the forms were in his office, and he was happily telling me that he will go over to the Registry of Marriage in the afternoon to get the marriage certificate. Now for those who are already married, you would know that there is a specific time and date where you are supposed to do your statutory declaration and collect the marriage certificate, it's not a one person thing and he got the time all wrong. Did he even bother to read the mails that I've sent him?! It's written clearly that we have to be there in the morning and both of us have to be present.

How can I not be upset? If he really bothers, he would had read all the instructions, he would had kept all the documents safe, he would had made sure he had everything on hand then day before, and he would had make sure that we went to the Registry today.

I'm having a headache now from all the things that's been going on.. and my boss can actually say I'm glowing?! From fuck?! I'm upset enough that I thinking of canceling the whole thing and she can actually say I'm glowing!? I dun get it, I really don't. I think I look like fuck now.

***
To my sweetie..

Thank you so much for everything, talking to you really made me feel much better. You should consider setting up the 1900 line, you'll earn heaps :p

Thank you for making me laugh when I'm down and taking my mind off the upsetting stuff. Thank you for helping out for my wedding.. Thank you for just being there when I need someone to lean on.

Oh, I had my fill of lobster and crab :) yum ^^/

I hope I can see you on wed~~

Satisfied

2007-01-25T17:31:00.000+08:00

With the things that are going on in my life right now.

Work is looking good, though I still have to deal with idiots, at least they are not so irritating.. And my upcoming conference is on the chopping board right now, it might very well be axed, which is a good thing coz there's just not enough time and money to get things done properly; the bad thing is that all our efforts are going down the drain. For me personally, the pity would be that I can't go shopping in Cebu, I'm already preparing to take orders for Levi's.. damn.

The wedding is going on fine, my babe is the best-est and with her running the show next week, I have no worries : )

Sex life is of course looking good :) I'm already very satisfied with the 2 sessions I had this week :p It's enough to last me till next week :)

Met up with my babe and my man yesterday, we had a nice dinner over in town and it was fun.. Of course my babe dunno about the relationship between my man and I, so I have to act like he's just a friend, which he is of course :p

It was so fun to rub his thighs below the table, feeling his warmth.. Now of course he reciprocate, running his hands over my thighs and even tickling me at times. That guy!! I was trying so hard to not feel ticklish and still hold a conversation with my babe.

Later when we were having drinks, we stole looks and when my babe walked off for a moment, we stole a kiss. His words.. we're like mouse stealing cheese right under the cat's nose.. hee.. No pain no gain, all fun business are risky business.

The three of us finally "ended" the night at around midnight, my babe went back on her own and I gave my man a lift.. not home of course but to somewhere else where we had a great time.

I must say my man have this strange hold over me, whenever I meet him, I just need to touch him, feel him, kiss him and fuck him. What can I say, he's an attractive man, just the kind I like. It helps that we don't see each other too often too.. Anyway I had a hard time keeping my hands off him during dinner, my babe must be wondering how come I'm so close to a guy whom she knows nothing about.

When the time finally came and we were alone, the dam just broke.. literally.. I was so wet for him.

Sex was great, we took things slow but I was so horny for him that the moment he had his tongue on my clit and his finger in me, I almost came. There's no way I'm going to let that happen, so I pushed him away and made myself cool down before we continued on.. We fucked, then he ate me some more till I cum, and then we fucked again till he cum.

We spent the rest of the time hugging and fondling each other, being in his arms always gives me this warm fuzzy feeling which I just love. I'm always amazed at how comfortable I feel around him, it's really like I knew him forever..

I love and enjoy every single moment I have with my man.

Fuming

2007-01-25T14:44:00.000+08:00

I have zero tolerance for idiots who waste my time and I have to fucking work with them all the time!!

What is wrong with all these people? They fucking work in a huge-ass global bank and they cannot write anything for nuts!? I have to fucking correct stupid grammatical errors like "Which are the insurance products belong to “xxx” or “zzz”?" huh? What the fuck is this? Fucking asshole don't even put in the effort to proof-read his work before sending them to me.

My angmo is damn jialat already, but at least I try to proof-read to eliminate such stupid mistake, that fucking sentence don't even sound fucking rite. I can't believe I still have half of the document to look through.

God save me.. Whoever, whatever, please save me.

Letting loose..

2007-01-24T15:08:00.000+08:00

.. in the office once again :p

ok I admit, I love having sex in the office.. I love the thrill of doing the "unthinkable" in the office, on my workdesk :p

Bf and I never had so much fun in a long time, we're just too tensed up due to the wedding and we really needed some time to ourselves and just let loose.. Which we did, right on the chair I'm sitting on right now :)

It was a normal day for me, having to work late because some asshole changed his mind and wanted 30 sets of materials printed and sent to him by the next morning. Well if he told me about it in the afternoon, I would not be that pissed, but at 630pm!! When I officially knock off at 7pm.. that bastard. I hate it when people ask, "so can you do it?" Can I say no? He's the big shot and I'm the tiny fry, can I say no to him?

So it's another late night just to print the stupid materials. I'm like a fucking office girl.

Bf came over after work to help me out, I know he had a long day at work but he's always the sweetest guy, offering to accompany me whenever I stay back late at work. By the time he got to my office, everyone else had already left, so it's just the two of us.. Naturally we started stealing kisses, giving quick pecks and that led to long kisses in the pantry..

I broke off the kiss and went back to my workstation to clear up the place for the night, but bf have other ideas in mind. From behind, he carried me up from my chair and made me sit on him instead, I obliged, sitting on him and try to do my work but I was distracted by all the little kisses and caresses and attention bf was showering on me.

Soon I gave up trying to work, turned round and gave him a long hard kiss.. at the same time undoing his pants.. I love the look of anticipation on his face when I go down on him..

He reciprocate by seating me on the table and licking me.. it was different from before, probably coz I'm sitting upright, and it was good.. But I want more.. with him still on my chair, I lower myself onto him.. I'm surprised at how strong and sturdy my chair is, though we were rocking it like crazy, it held and did not make weird noises or whatever :p we were the noisy one, with me moaning whenever he's in deep.

It went on for a while before we both came and he came so much that when I pulled him out, his cum dripped onto the floor.. oppz..

The sex was amazing.. very very satisfying : )

We left soon after, which was a good thing as my colleague came back to the office not long after we left. *phwee* coz this time round we were not in the meeting room but right at my desk, which is easily visible once someone opens the door.

It's another close shave.

Tired

2007-01-23T18:18:00.000+08:00

Physically and mentally exhausted.. Brides-to-be are never really happy coz they are just too stressed up with all the things going on. It's bad enough that you are entering a new stage in your life, then you have to plan your wedding, pour through the details.. It's so tiring.. At the end of it all, I think I will be glad that it's all over.. and I have not started to think about the customary wedding next year *shudders*

Bf and I had been having a lot of fights these days, with all the wedding stuff plus all the shit work that we have to do, tempers are running short and any little thing can spark a fight.

At times, I really want to call this whole thing off, is this wedding for me or just for show?? And then I wonder if I really want to spend the rest of my life with this person. He's like a child, can you imagine a grown man crying in the middle of a mall just coz we quarreled? That's my bf for you. My gosh..

All said, I'm still getting married AND things are still going to be the same after marriage. I'm not going to change just coz someone can call me his wife.. I'm not going to change my surname to his surname, people are still going to call me by my name AND my own surname; I'm still going to meet the people that I meet now and I'm still going to fuck them if I feel like it.

Nothing is going to change.. So why get married?? Coz I do love my bf and I want to settle down with him. Then why are you still going to fool around? Coz I can.

The answer is simple as that, I do it because I can. That's the motto of my life.

Day of Unexpected

2007-01-22T10:37:00.001+08:00

"Happy anniversary dear" those were the words bf whispered in my ears just as we were getting ready to go to bed.. Anniversary.. anniversary.. my mind is not working.. is today the 21st?

Apparently it is.. Oh well, it's just the 21st of the month, probably another of the month-sary thingy.. I dun really have time for such stuff, I'm tired and I have another full day ahead of me, having to bring my Korean colleague out for the day. Then it hit me, Jan 21st, gosh, it's our 2nd Anniversary, our actual anniversary and I've clean forgotten about it, plus I'm spending the day with my colleagues. Damn damn damn..

But a promise is a promise, I said I'm gonna bring my colleague out and I did.

It was a surprisingly fun day, doing all the tourist-sy stuff, having breakfast at Yakun before heading over to Harborfront for a cable car ride to sentosa. It's picture-taking everywhere we go and it was just good old fun.

I really haven been to Sentosa for ages, I never knew there's so many stuff on Siloso beach :p And it was my first time to dolphin lagoon.. it was unexpectedly.. boring.. the poor souls.. We should free these poor animals, it's not right to keep them in captive.

The day ended with dinner over at Vivo City, we popped over to Bosses for hotpot. We were a little wary of the place, being the only one with empty seats in the evening, the restaurant is like empty, but that's where we were wrong, the place extends inwards and it's actually pretty crowded inside.

I love the decor of the place but that's all about it, the food is mediocre, the staff are either aunties who can't understand English or young kids who have no idea on how to be a proper waitress. And it's way overpriced. 2 hot pot sets, 4 drinks and that set us back by 120 bucks?! huh? I rather have dinner at Juju and I can have 4 hot pot sets, enjoy a nicer meal and still get some change back.

The most unexpected thing of the day is M. Now M is from way back, back when I was still with D, we lost contact about 2 years back coz bf was not too happy that I'm in contact with him.

2 years and he never changed, I saw this guy in black uniform in punk hairstyle smoking with his friend. The hair, the goatee, the way he stands, there's no mistake it's him. We chatted for a while without exchanging numbers or what not so I was really surprised that he still have my no and messaged me.

Now I dunno what he sees me as and what he wants from me. He asked me out for a movie, which I'm fine but anything more than that? I'm really not too sure.. We shall see..

Andrea Chow

2007-01-19T11:10:00.000+08:00

Don't recognize her? Maybe this would be better

The first time I saw her on channelnewsasia, I was like ok, another sweet looking girl.. That is till they pan the camera down for a upper body shot and my gosh, she's one hot babe :p

Bf met her the other day and he told me that her figure is really fantastic.. I also wanna see, I've always been very curious about how she looks in real life! I wonder if she's a full D or an E.. hmm..

Bf was so cute when I asked him about her, he's practically like gushing about just how hot she is :p nah I'm not jealous, she is hot, there's no denying of that.. Damn I want boobs like hers!! Bf say they look natural, so either she's blessed with a good figure or she had a great surgeon, we'll never know eh.

Who do you think you are?

2007-01-18T10:02:00.000+08:00

Hi Jess
I'm sorry. I wanted to book the flight to Cebu
I've looked at Philippine Airlines site and several others and do not find the Singapore to Cebu flight you list. What is the flight number?
Also, what is the Web site? THere are several appearing to be Philippine Airlines.
Thank you.
mike

Huh? Is this guy stupid or is he stupid?? Just go on to google, type in the words "Philippines Airlines" and the first result that comes up is Philippines Airlines, what the fuck is he talking about?

Asiana airlines is not Philippines airlines, for goodness sake the spelling is totally different. It's like saying which is Singapore airlines coz there's Jet Star and Tigerair. Fucking stupid chao angmo leh. This is the bastard that insists we charter a private ferry for him from Batam to Singapore in the middle of the night and to get a biz class ticket for his travel.

Do he have brains?? To charter a ferry, you have to fucking book for 100pax! Who the fuck do he think he is? And travel by biz class when it's a SEAsian country? Only my big boss is allowed to do so, the rest of us are in economy. Fuck, even when we flew to Dubai, we were stuck in economy for 8 hours, fucking consultant actually wants to take biz flight, you wait long long lor.

Working with stupid people makes me angry.

Technology is good

2007-01-17T16:52:00.000+08:00

Coz it never fails, it's humans that fails machines, not the other way around.

Heard all the horror stories of how contraceptives fail, blah blah blah, at most times it's human failure. If the guy had bothered to read the instructions on the condom, use the proper size condom, there should not be stories of the condom breaking. Then failure stories of the pill, again if you read the instructions, it's written clearly that in cases of diarrhoea, the pill might not be fully ingested and thus the protection is not 100%.

And then there's me, who forgot to take my pill. Damn, this is the first time I forgot to take my pill, usually even if I forget, I'll remember within 1~2 hours, this time round, I only remember the next day. I knew I forgot something, turned out was that. Damn.

I embrace technology, I believe in science for it brings convenience to life. Unlike religion that forbids this and that, technology allows me to have fun without the worries. But this time round, I failed technology, stupid me with my short memory.

I'm too stressed and busy and work.. I need a fuck.. I'm whining.. I'm desperate.. .. I need sleep.. .. I want a hug.. .. I want my sweetie.. I want my darling.. I want my man..

艳遇

2007-01-17T15:13:00.000+08:00

My colleagues had been having them lately. Both are young girls, just celebrated their 21st birthday, in a steady relationship and all the new guys came into their lives in the recent month.

Colleague M is in a 8 year relationship, really amazing considering that she's only 21. Hers came about when clubbing in Momo, and it's a good old case of girls having some fun. All is good and nothing happened after for some kissing and hugging.

Colleague S is also in a relationship, her bf is cute, though too childish for my liking, but suits her perfectly. Now she gotta know this guy from a costume shop (not many in sg eh :p) and that guy mentioned upfront that he likes her and would like to woo her, even though he knows that she have a bf. Now she's in a dilemma, having no idea what to do, and she still continues to see and talk to the other guy.

Girls girls girls.. When will they grow up? M is ok coz she knows where she stands and it's just flirting and nothing more than that, I can't believe S actually got emotionally involved with that guy. Youth comes with its price, she's just too wet behind the ears. Do she really believe in his "sincerity"? From the way she talks about him, I can tell that this is not a good person, if a guy knows that the girl he likes have a bf, he'll keep his distance and not say things like "I will wait for you", wait for fuck?

Stupid little girls.. If you wanna fool around, go fool around, dun ever put emotions into it, it's difficult but that's the rules, have your fun and fuck off.

Now when is my turn to find a 艳遇?? I'm in need of a good fuck, it's been so long.. ... ..

Ride.. Tired.. Rich

2007-01-15T10:38:00.000+08:00

*bang* I opened my eyes and I found this cute caucasian kneeling in front of me, in front of all the people on the train.

That sounds interesting but it's really not funny, this is the first time I've seen a guy faint. I immediately offered him my seat and two other guys helped him onto to seat. SMRT should really look at how stuffy their trains are, there's people fainting everyday due to the lack to air, it's high time they do something about it.

That guy was really cute despite being all pale and such..

***
It was a tiring tiring saturday..

There was so much errands to run, so many things to buy and so many things to settle. I love shopping at Art Friend, there's so much interesting stuff but bf being his usual self, rushed me through.. I know the place is crowded, but there's so much things to see. We got the things we needed and went off, only to find that we forgot some other stuff and had to get back to get them. So why not let me shop a bit longer and I would probably be able to find everything that we needed.

That night, we stayed up till 2 to finish our wedding card, I was so tired that it was like I'm back in Dubai, working till the wee hours till I have no idea what I'm doing at all.

***
Sunday was the day of reunion. Turns out that my makeup artist was my OG mate back in JC.

Bridal makeup is scary, there's so much paint on my face it feels like I'm going to war.. But that's what the camera requires.. so what can I do about it??

After the makeup and hair which took like 2 hours, the ordeal is finally over and we headed over to a old classmate's place, his bungalow to be correct. His place was huge, and the decor was simple but very classy. Fuck, he even ordered his bed from a hotel in Taiwan, damn that guy, he's so fucking rich,.

That bungalow cost him 3.5m, which was a steal coz it was originally going for 6m and then 911 incident hit and prices plunged. Now that property is worth around 8m, can I just marry this guy? I used to have a crush on him, he's this cute funny guy which everyone likes.. He's still cute and funny, but got thick around the waist, the perils of being a rich businessman.

Over at his place last night, I wonder what's it is like to be alone in the place with him, the living room, dinning room, kitchen, staircase, his room, the bathroom.. How would it feel to be with him, just for a night?

Freezing

2007-01-12T10:54:00.000+08:00

What a perfect morning to sleep in but I still gotta pull my ass out of the bed and make my way to work.. I just want a job that allows me to sleep in and not go into the office, just like my kor's job..

When do you get a cushy internal auditor job where all he does is work from home then travel to the countries to do audit?? I also want!! Must get kor to recommend me to his company, but then again, I hate accounts.

The thermostat must be spoilt, it shows 22 degrees but it's freezing cold in the office.. What I would give to be in someone's arms right now :p I'm missing him quite a bit right now.. ..

***
This is going to be another busy weekend, gotta go to the florist, print out my invitation cards, house-hunting, signature book and pen hunting, go for my trial make-up session, go through the event run sheet with my babes, and finally go to my rich classmate's place for gathering..

Loads and loads of things to do but I'm really looking forward to the gathering, it's always fun to meet people from long long ago.. ^^/

***
Missed the chance to meet him this week :( I hate meetings, utter waste of my time, and coz of all the meetings, I can't meet him.. Damn the meetings..

It's bad enough when we have a resident idiot in our midst who needs me to explain myself 3 times before she gets it, yesterday we have another moron who asks stupid questions that was already asked and answered. Was she even listening?!

What are the two things on the side of her head? Fucking pissed with all the stupidity I have to put up with everyday. At least the resident idiot sometimes point out impt stuff, the moron just give moronic comments, speak broken malaysian english and waste my bloody time.

***
I take back the things I told Wolf the other day, bf is NOT EXCITED over this whole marriage thing at all. If he is, then would he forget to do one simple thing that I've asked him to?

I'm pretty much handling everything, all I asked him to do was to contact the photographer, which he did AFTER I did the research for him. And guess what, he conveniently forgot that we have to pay a deposit to confirm the photographer. So I gotta remind me and I gotta go transfer the money to the photographer. It's so irritating.

Now I'm ok with helping to transfer the money, but we talked to the photographer at the start of the week and now bf wants me to transfer the money to him, without even confirming if the photographer is still available, what kinda brains does he have??

I really don't mind doing most of the stuff since it's pretty much a girl's thing, make-up, hair, but the least he could do is offer to help. I know he's busy right now but I have a conference going on in Feb, I'm damn busy too ok! And I've already told him that we should do our house-hunting after the ROM so that we have more time to do other stuff now but do he listen? No, he keeps making appointments after appointments to view houses? For what?

We're already spending a lot of money for this ROM, we don't have that much spare cash to buy a flat.

*irritated*

Stars

2007-01-10T16:42:00.000+08:00

Literally see stars this morning, lucky bf was with me so things were not that bad.

I have low blood sugar so I feel faint easily, that's why I can never stand when I'm taking the train in the morning, I'll feel faint like this morning. That's also why you'll always see me sucking on some candy, I need the sugar to keep me going.

I hate the fainting kinda feeling, your head gets super heavy, you start seeing stars and your vision starts narrowing till all you can see are black patches all over. Bf half carried me off the train and give me a lot of air before I feel well enough to get out of the station.

The doc gave me some med and that's why I'm home right now, after sleeping the whole day away. From 10am till 4pm, I can really sleep when I want to.

It's such a waste coz I was supposed to meet him today.. He love thongs, and I had a lovely pair on today.. I really wanna see him, it's been such a long time..

Corsage

2007-01-09T10:02:00.000+08:00

I finally understood its allure.

The smooth lines, tiny waist and push-up bust line.

The feel of the bodice tight around your body, the feel of lace..

Sexy.. Womanly..

I tried one one yesterday and I got hooked, it was so pretty and it looked great on me. The only problem is that it was not the right size plus the price tag, so I decided not to get it.

But it was so lovely, it even comes with the optional garters!!

Damn I need to get this thing, shall go back to the store later to see if the other outlets have the right size. I don't care if I max out my card this month, I have to get it.

Now I'm also tempted to get the corsage I saw last time, it's also white with lace and crystals.. Lovely lovely piece of lingerie, the only problem is that it comes with a price tag of 700 bucks.. .. I rather buy a new phone with that money. N95, when are you coming??

Deceptive

2007-01-05T19:19:00.000+08:00

Looks can be deceptive, a seemingly boring blue little book turned out to be the best read of my life; the normal looking guy I met in the LT turned out to be the guy that can still break my heart with a glance from him..

Things are never what they seem and I don't look like the kind of person I really am. Then again, there's so many sides to me that it's not possible to look like the real me coz there isn't one. I can be nice and helpful when I want to, but I'm not bothered most of the time. I'm a superb liar but I tell the truth most of the time coz it's too tiring to remember all the lies, besides, I'm not really bothered about other people's feelings to want to lie to them. Too much work.

My colleagues is a very nice bunch of people, we work like a family, or used to at least, till I found out that someone is talking behind my back. I don't mind if someone bitches about me in front of me, if you don't like me, tell me, don't go carrying tales and bitching about me to my boss.

Very tired of all these office politics, I thought that this office was different but I'm wrong, wherever a person works, there will be office politics.. haiz..

For once I really thought that I can be honest with these people and take off my mask when I'm at work, turns out the mask have to be put back on and I need to add new layers to them. It's one thing to be bad to someone and it's another to pretend to be nice and yet stab them in the back. Bitch.

I don't know who is the one that carried tales, I have an idea but no concrete proof. Shall not waste my time on guessing, will just have to be more discrete whenever I'm in the office.

I hate it when my boss tells me that if there's things that needs to be done, I should just stay back, then she'll compare me to my neighbor who stays back most of the time. It's a unfair comparison coz I come to work on time at 9am everyday whereas my colleague comes in late all the time, so it's only right that she works late to compensate. Also, she gets OT pay whilst I don't, so why should I work so hard? If you pay me OT pay, of course I'll be more than happy to stay back late, especially now when I need the money for my wedding.

Looks are really deceptive.

Confused

2007-01-04T10:23:00.000+08:00

My boss needs a long break, a very very long one. She's so damn confused from yesterday that I think she have no idea what she is doing.

Take this email..

Jess,

Can we discuss this tomorrow - you did the questions for the 3 levels, can you brief me and xxx tomorrow

on this.

Bitch boss

From the email, it's pretty clear that she wants to discuss the questions that I have done up for the materials right? Wrong, the thing is, we agreed that we are not doing other people's work and the other department is coming up with their own questions for their own materials.

I was pretty pissed so I shot a mail back telling her what exactly was discussed, and that I've already sent the part I was tasked to do back in November.

And this was her reply..

No Jess - not the questions : it's the study materials that we got from Insurance and your task was to collate and put

the notes in place for the different target audience. I remembered you did this - can you forward to me again.

Baga, now in which part of the previous mail did she mention that she wants to see the materials? Questions is not materials, those are two very different things. No.. as if I did not understand her mail, well, if she bothered to read what she wrote, maybe then I can understand what she's trying to do.

And I've sent her the materials more than twice, coz I know she will forget about it, so I sent her the materials three times in the space of 2 weeks. And now she's asking for it AGAIN. What's wrong with her?!

And I hate reading her mail coz she have this stupid idea that she have to do her own paragraphing and that people would always read their mails in a window the same size as her window. All the breaks at the weird places are her work, it's so darn irritating to read her long mails coz the sentence breaks up at the weirdest place. Don't she know that the words will automatically adjust to the window size?!

Then it's today's meetings. We have 2 meetings today, one small meeting with just me, her and another colleague, and a big group meeting with my whole department. Now she arranged for the group meeting to start at 11 and the small meeting to start at 3. I've got that written down very clearly in my diary, but then she started to get confused and told everyone else that the group meeting starts at 3pm. Huh?

Now me and my colleague have no idea what meeting is at what time and if she even want the small meeting in the first place.

The bitch seriously needs some brain boosters, she must had left her brain back with 2006.

I feel like smashing her head in, it's such a waste of my time working for her.

It's her

2007-01-03T18:39:00.000+08:00

I met D's gf earlier when I was making my way down to work.

It must be her, not that I recognize her, but that girl looked at me the way a girl would look at her bf's ex. Full of venom.

A normal person would not look at another normal person with those look in their eyes, it's like I killed her mum. Duh, I'm even the least interested to waste my time on her.

Eww.. what a way to start the day, no wonder everything seem wrong today, it's her fault. Bitch.

Even if it's not her, I blame her.

Lalalalala

Your Mailbox is Full

2007-01-03T17:02:00.000+08:00

What a nice greeting email for the new year :p so it's shifting time, moving emails out of that folder so that new mails can come in. In the end, it took over an hour for all the new mails to come in and now I have like 200+ mails to read and revert on. What's new, this always happens after a long break.

The break was real good, I had time to rest and to settle my wedding matters, almost everything is done except for photographer, make-up and flowers. What's with the price of bridal bouquets? Minimum 100 bucks?! The flowers I want is calla lilies with either rose or tulips, just how much that will cost me? A freaking 250 bucks?! My gosh, when are flowers that expensive?

Anyone knows any cheap and good florist? Oh, I need some flowers for my hair too, anyone knows where to get those? I wanna do something like daisy chain for my hair.

Received a teasing msg right after lunch.. hmm.. now he's the perfect dessert but not for today, or tomorrow or this week for the matter. Time of the month..

I just realized that I'm celibate for the year so far, now who shall be the first for 2007?? *wink*

P.S. I'm having blogger's block.. Can't think, can't write.. after a whole day, this post is all I manage to squeeze out..

Welcome 2007

2006-12-31T16:46:00.000+08:00

Finally it's the last day of the year, it's gonna be an interesting day as our parents are meeting. The time and place is set, now it's up to my dad and his dad to negotiate the terms :p

I know it's stupid to say this, but it's my first time!! I dunno what to do!! Heng my dad have an idea of what's to be said and so on. Gonna have a lovely seafood dinner over at east coast, then hopefully can confirm the wedding dinner matters with the restaurant manager.

My dad, what can I say about him? For a guy who barely had any education, my dad is superb in doing business, he can sian people till they part with their money. And he knows like everyone, from the big shot MPs to the well known businessman. Bf went ahead and choose someone from the JP list to be our wedding solemniser, and guess what, my dad knows that guy!! See, my dad do know everyone.

And he knows the restaurant manager very well, so we're definitely going to have a good deal for the wedding dinner :)

I love my dad.

Finally a very happy new year to everyone!! Get wasted, we still have two more days of leave!! Enjoy the long weekend while it lasts!

Who's bad?

2006-12-29T22:55:00.000+08:00

Goodbye 2006

2006-12-29T17:26:00.000+08:00

2006, this is a year I will not forget. I’ve made decisions that not only changed my life but changed me as a person.

The major milestone, I’ve finally turned 25, a quarter of a century old. Not that I’m really that mature, but it sounds pretty cool that I’m finally 25, dun ask me why.

The other major milestone is that I’m engaged. I always wanted to get married at 26 and my wish is coming true. The road was not smooth, first was the fucked-up proposal, then was the subsequent non-existent re-proposal. Flat hunting is a disaster as well, haiz, but I’ve already made my decision to get married, so there. I don’t do regrets, it’s just a waste of time.

In 2006, I gotta know myself even better, I finally realize what a selfish bitch I am, I don’t care about what other people think, I only care about what’s in it for me. I live for myself and no one else.

That’s why I’m able to have my cake and eat it. No guilt, no remorse, the only thing that matters is that I have my fill of fun and satisfaction.

2005 was the year of forums, 2006 is the year of blogs. I blogged and I knew people through my blog. One person stands out, and that’s my sweetie, he’s such an amazing guy that sometimes I can’t really believe that he’s real. He’s like a boyfriend cum sister cum biz partner cum mentor cum fb cum best friend… … He’s like a all in one that every girl wants.

I thank my lucky star when he insisted that we meet :p

I don’t have any new year resolutions, I never manage to keep them anyway, all I want for 2007 is to tio 4D and get my flat. Why can't Singapore have the 2 billion lottery like Taiwan?!

This had been a good year, a very interesting and fun year, we shall see what 2007 will bring :)

No countdown parties for me, what I like to do is to just hole up at home :p

Black and White

2006-12-28T09:13:00.000+08:00

And pink and blue and purple, I just went a little crazy and got myself 6 pair of thongs :) but they are all so pretty!!

Like someone said, the problem with sexy clothing is that you just want to tear them off :p hee..

I love my black lacy thong, the only problem is that lace is a little too flimsy, it already had a small tear from.. *ahem*

Then there’s this pretty white one which looks innocent enough, till I realize that it’s one of those crouch-less thong, the crouch part is just two piece of cloth which comes apart easily. Nice eh, perfect for a quickie.

The others are made from materials so sheer that it’s like I’m not wearing anything at all. I like :)

Now all I need is someone else to appreciate them :p

Rain Rain

2006-12-27T17:57:00.000+08:00

It's been raining and raining non-stop, the only thing that made me happy is that I'm snug at home with no need to go to work.

Long break from work is a bliss. Waking up naturally each day, having bf by my side when I wake up :)

Things are finally going right, we're gonna have our solemnization over at Ritz Carlton. I've confirmed the hotel and JP, now all I need is to plan out what we have to do that day. Sweetie had agreed to be my wedding singer, but the thing is, when is he going to sing?? hmm..

Ritz is gorgeous as usual, I can't wait for Feb to come! And the best thing is, they throw in a suite for free :) hee..

The flat hunt is going well too, we had a small hiccup, but negotiations are on the way, if everything goes well, we should have our flat by late Feb :) It's a real good find, how often can you find a 4-room point block? Ok, the Feng Shui master said that the house is not good, that it have too much Yin-energy. Well my dad said that it's good, yin-energy brings pian-cai. 4D Toto, here I come!!

***
Somehow sex eludes me these days, we have the time and place but never the mood to do it. Ok, I don't have the mood to do it, somehow it's just.. .. I like to take time when it comes to sex, hot, fast and furious is good, but we still need to take the time to slow down and do things right. Bf is good, but when it comes to slowing down, he can do much better.

Perfect

2006-12-27T17:51:00.001+08:00

The setting was perfect for romance. The room was absolutely lovely, overlooking the quayside.. The bathroom was well stocked with bubble bath, scented candles and rose petals, all these with a tub big enough for two.. The in-room dinner was pretty good and it ended with a fantastic chocolate mousse.

What else can a girl ask for?

Better company.

Haiz.. Who ever does a cosmetic surgery right before a planned holiday? We are on leave this week and the next, he have loads of time to do it after our getaway but no, he had to do it right before our getaway. Fine, he got his lasik, blew his credit limit and I had to pay for the room.

So much for him planning a romantic getaway for me.

As he just had his eyes zapped, we could not swim or stay out in the sun for too long , everything had to be done with care.

Anyway it's just pass midnight now and I'm writing this whilst he's asleep with those silly eye caps on. The caps prevent him from accidently rubbing his eyes while he was sleeping, and looking at him with them on is such a turn-on, how on earth does he know I love Ultraman.. *faints*

I'm bored! I want more.. sex!!! I miss my darling already, so tempted to just call him. Should I just give bf some sleeping pills then call my sweetie??

1 Hour Later

I feel terrific! No, my darling is not here, I just had one of the best soaks ever.

Tangerine-scented candle was lit; vit A & E bubble bath was in the tub together with rose petals; Times magazone.

Perfect.

I feel absolutely refreshed and relaxed.

A book is always a girl's best friend, or in this case, a great magazine.

Long Break

2006-12-21T19:34:00.000+08:00

I'm going on my leave!! Yeah!!

Finally seen the last of my boss for this year!! ^^/

Shall I?

2006-12-21T10:55:00.000+08:00

Shall I not? Shall I? But I told him I'm not going to write about it.. So I shall not.

Then again I had such a good time and boss is not in yet :p So I shall.

Normally when I go out with someone, I go with the hope-for-the-best-but-expect-the-worst attitude, this way all dates will be better than expectations and I would not be disappointed, but with him, there's no need for the last part, he makes every date wonderful :)

That guy was late last nite due to the horrid traffic, where on earth did all the people come from? Town is like packed to the brim with people. Anyway I was ok with waiting since I had some shopping to do and I could practice my tai tai ways of sipping tea whilst flipping magazines in the cafe :p

My man soon appeared and we had a light dinner at coffee club, chatting and talking about everything and anything. It's amazing how relaxed I feel around him, he just makes me so comfortable. There are some people that you're attracted to but you can never seem to feel comfortable around them coz you worry too much about what they think about you, whether he likes that or not.. blah blah. Then there's people you're attracted to and feel damn comfortable with that you can pretty much show your true self, no lady-like pretense, just being yourself and having a great time. Of course my dear man belongs to the second category.

We wandered around a little after dinner and settled down at "our place". Someone was so interested in the frosted glass ;p

I love the pacing, everything was slow and easy and we just took our time to enjoy every single moment. Every moment seems stretched out and pleasure was multiplied. I always loved the feel of him in me, his girth is so.. .. hmm.. just fills me up.

I sucked him off, running my tongue around his shaft, playing with his smooth smooth balls whilst sucking him till he cums.

Then it was my turn.. oh man.. I really really really enjoyed myself yesterday, it was amazing, it was mind-blowing, it was just crazy. It's been so long since I spilt with D that I forgotten just how good it feels to be eaten till I cum. Oh my gosh, I reckon what I had yesterday was better than anything I've ever had.

Just thinking about it makes me.. hmm..

What can a girl want? It's just so good.. Honey, forget about the marketing thing, just start a class to teach guys do what you did, I'm sure people who be queuing up for you.

He's damn good.

Damn good.

For the first time, I was satisfied, completely satisfied. I'm a happy camper.

I love the after-sex chat, just laying about and talking. Oh, did I mention he gives the best massage? I never liked massages, but there's magic in his hands :p

I wanted the night to go on and on, he's great company and things are great, even without sex. Though I will not give up any chance to screw him, or the other way round, or the other way.. hee..

*Satisfied and Delighted*

Anticipation

2006-12-20T11:47:00.000+08:00

We have a date tonight :) Just me and him with no agenda and no venue in mind. Where exactly are we going to go? What are we going to do? I have no idea, but we can always play it by ear. I always enjoy dates like so, no pressure of thinking of the prefect place to go, we shall go where our feet brings us.

I wanted to wear a dress tonight, but it's a little too casual for work, so it's back to a sleeveless top and black skirt. Not too interesting, but I have my new lacy thong on, I just love the feel of lace on me, and I definitely hope he likes it too :p

I can't wait for some action, I wish he could be right here, right now..

Just thinking about tonight is giving me tingles, in a very pleasant way. The memories of our previous meetings brings blood to my face.. The bar, the private place, his office, the room..

I love to feel his body, just running my fingers all over him; I love to feel his bulge, straining against his pants; I love the warmth of his arms as I snuggle against him; I love the way he fits just so perfectly.

Baby I can't wait.

Don't friend you

2006-12-19T17:30:00.000+08:00

I got an email from D's gf today, it's about work of course. We exchanged several mails and there only one word to describe us, F.A.K.E.

"Thank you so much, hope you have a nice day ahead."

Damn I was fake, and so was she. I'm pretty sure she knows who I am, she's seen me, got to know my name and hated my guts, oh well. I know who she is too, where she works but I have no idea how she looks like. Hope you have a nice day ahead, ha! It's more like, hope you slip and fall today bitch :p but I'm very good at faking it, so came the nice and professional email reply.

D have a thing for fake women.

Haha.. I know, this post is so secondary school, but I'm always like so when it comes to her and D, I hate that bitch. And I don't care how childish I seem, I don't like her and that's it. I'm childish and I don't give a damn.

I don't like her, I will not friend her :Þ

When friends become..

2006-12-19T11:18:00.000+08:00

.. insurance agents, I siam. There's a difference between friends meeting up to catch up and friends meeting up so that you can convince them to buy a policy from them.. ugh.. There really is no point meeting if all you want to do is to sell me a policy, no thank you, no matter how good you try to make the policy out, you're still trying to make money out of our friendship, that cheapens the friendship and such friends are not worth having.

That's why I stopped contact with my ex.

Yesterday on my way home, I was hounded by these insurance people.. "come on, it's just a short survey." yah right.. "please, I just need you to fill up the survey." please, I just need to rush for my bus.. "very fast, 5 minutes only, bear with me and it will be over soon." now this line is classic, bear with him? Do I owe him a living, last check, he probably owes me a living.

Irritating fellow. But turn out, he's bf's friend cum agent's colleague. Small world. Bf's friend was there too but I only stopped to say hi before rushing off for my bus, the instinct to run is just too strong.

These people are.. .. I know they are out to make a living, but to the point of making themselves a nuisance and destroying their social lives, is it worth it?

Two left feet

2006-12-18T17:55:00.000+08:00

I can't even do a back-slide properly.. gee..

I'm helping out with a musical and unfortunately, not everyone can be at the practices so I have to stand in. It's horrible, it's one thing mimicking the instructor on how to dance, it's another with I HAVE TO DANCE with someone.

Sorry, I cannot dance. Period.

I can't "flow" with the music and I'm too "proper", one step out of sync and I'll be using the rest of the time finding that proper step back, which never happens.

I love to watch people dance though, I love ballroom dancing and I hope one day, I could do a waltz, but i can screw up something as simple as a back-slide, I think waltz can only come about if I have a super cute tutor and lots of practice.

Our instructor is this gay malay guy, but he's real good, I love it when he does all the saucy stuff, he's so much better than the girls :p And his body is damn nice, I never liked a bulky guy, what I like is definition and that's what he have, very define muscles, so nice.. Too bad he's gay. Oh well.

I'm enjoying the rehearsals coz it's fun watching all the senior management sweat it out in the studio :p I'm talking senior as in regional directors and stuff, some can dance despite their size whilst others are.. .. Well at least they bother to show up, not like the others who promised to show up but never did.

So you think you can dance?? Nah..

***
The ROM thing is giving me a big headache, fucked up Goodwood Park, I rather do it at Intercont. I don't care about the price, I care more about the service attitude, so what if you're an old established hotel?? Lousy service means lousy service, and you call that a lobby? My office is bigger than that. Hrmp.

All I want for Christmas..

2006-12-18T11:16:00.000+08:00

.. is Berman Center Astrea Remote Vibrating Thong

Interesting eh :p it's available at Amazon for around sgd50 :)

The other thing I really want for Xmas is a new modem!!

The old one die on me again!! And someone lost the receipt when we exchanged the modem a few months back, so I really really need a new modem now.. I have not been able to check my personal mail for the past week coz of the damn modem!!

Please get me a new modem and if Santa's reading this now, can I get a new laptop to go with the new modem?

I'm right all along

2006-12-15T09:32:00.000+08:00

It's high time to quit my job :p

My name is Dory

2006-12-14T18:19:00.000+08:00

I'm so darn forgetful!! I actually forgot that I have a date with someone!! Damn..

Sorry dearie, I'm so caught up with ROM preparations that it slipped my mind. I never knew that it's so darn troublesome to get married in Singapore, there's the 3 weeks notice period; application for registration date; body check-up; invitation of solemnizer; confirmation of solemnizer; hotel matters... *headache*

And it's just ROM, what will happen when it's the customary wedding?! The only good thing is that I'm more or less confirmed about the place I wanna hold the wedding dinner, the only thing now is to wait for the 2008 rates to be out before I book the venue. Rasa Sentosa, here I come :)

The worst part of the ROM preparation is that I just realized I have only 1 1/2 months to go before my ROM date!! *gasp* so little time and so darn much to do!!!

I need a wedding planner!

Oh sweetie, we shall meet next wed :) Since I "flew your kite" this time round, will think of something to make it up :p

What makes a good dream?

2006-12-14T10:27:00.000+08:00

A good co-actor, lovely scenery and alot of hugging and kissing.

Dreams is the playground of the mind, what is impossible in reality is always possible in dreams. For two consecutive nights, I've been dreaming very good dreams. The first involves my dear D. I've been trying to ask him out lately but he's giving me all the usual excuses.. bah.. So in my dream, we went out together, hugged and kissed alot.. and that's about all I remember, it's a dream, they're not meant to be remembered.

The second dream involves a blogger. Nope, I have not met the blogger in real life, I have no idea how he looks like and there's no way I'm ever going to meet him. But there he was, in his cuffed shirt, pants, tie and specs, just the clean executive look that I like. Again there was hugging and kissing, and I was in his embrace most of the time.

Both mornings, I woke up with a warm fuzzy feeling. It's a great way to wake up.

Now a good co-actor, lovely scenery, hugs and kisses are what goes into making a good, what precipitates a good dream is good sex :) For both nights, my little sis is not around so bf and I had the room all to ourselves.

We took our time to explore each other's body, first using our hands, then our tongue to finish the exploration. Love making was slow and relaxing, long slow strokes for both of us to fully enjoy each sensation, and all these culminating to a joint orgasm.. It was good

So good sex is the key ingredient to good dreams ^^/

There goes my resolution

2006-12-12T17:42:00.000+08:00

Since it's the xmas season, I've decided that I shall be nice to my boss and not rant and rave about her, but that bitch just have her means to get beneath my skin.

Fuck whore!@ Fucking prude whore!! Since you are on your fucking leave, then fucking leave the work behind, do you know what is compliance leave?! Why are you fucking calling me every 5 minutes!!! And fuck, you dunno my office number izzit, why do you fucking call my hp every single time?!?!?

Fucking bitch, piss me off. Just when I was in a good mood, thinking of where to go after work! Fuck that bitch, whore! Corporate whore of course, she's the kind of person that thinks that sex is dirty and that dating a guy means that he's her bf. Fucking old prude!

Everything is clearly listed on the minutes that I've sent out, fucking have to micromanage and tell me, for this and this, you need to give it this and this timing. For goodness, I'm always the one that have to fine-tune the timing, I know fucking well what to do, so don't come fucking tell me what to do.

Bitch, waste of my time and my hp battery. It's a good thing that incoming calls are free for me, fucking wasted more than 20 minutes of my time telling me things that I already know.

First she tells me that the agenda needs to be brief and broad, then she wants to zero down on the timing, what the fuck does she want? I already told her for more than 10 times that I will handle the timing!! If she wants to handle the timing, just tell me the broad timing like how many hours and I will do the rest, she don't have to tell me that from 8-9 we have this and this. Fucking moron!!!

*super pissed*

Oh, half of the time when she's talking, I'm playing with my tamagotchi, yes, my tamas are so much more interesting than her. And at least they know when to shut up and when I dun have time for them, I can always just pause them. With that bitch, I have to repeat the same thing over for 3 times before she starts to understand, how stupid can a person get?!

I HATE MY BOSS!!!!

变

2006-12-12T12:57:00.000+08:00

每次想到他，心里就会一阵一阵地痛。。。我真的把心丢了，但不知如何，它又跑回来了。

我变了，他也变了。。

“我不想变，我不要变，可是我无法推开生命的改变。。”

人生就是如此无情，它不管我们有多悲伤，因为变是它的权力，变是它的使命。

选择？一切都是假象。。我们只是生命中的木偶，没有选择，只有听从。

我变了。。。我比从前无情。伤一次就够了，我只想爱自己。

我变了。。。变得更有自信，我相信我自己，我了解我自己。虽还不知真的想要什么，概念是有的。

他变了。。。变得软弱无力。。他忘了从前的梦，往日的憧憬，一切都忘了。父亲的意外让他懂事了，但也让他消失了。再也看不到倔强坚强的他，再也看不到我所爱的他，连影子也看不到。。。

现在他只有责任和害怕，对年迈父亲的责任，对女友的害怕。前者我能体会，后者我无法了解。

爱不就是懂得放手吗？让他去飞，去成长。。。为何要把他的翅膀剪掉？为何要把他困住？

原因只有一个。。。自卑。真的很同情她，除了自卑，我想她也没什么了。真可悲。

人生就是不断地变，有的变好，有的变坏。。。

我不在乎变，我只想快乐。

I don't have a strong heart

2006-12-11T11:38:00.000+08:00

"Oh yes that feels good.. baby that makes me feel real good.."

"beep.. beep beep beep.. .. .."

"Shit!"

Bf and I were over in the office over the weekend as I have a special musical project going on, I can't wait to see all the senior bitches doing some sultry moves.. .. *must not laugh out loud*

My colleague was around initially but he left after finishing his part, leaving bf and I alone in the office. Soon we were locked in embrace, kissing and feeling each other up. It's been a while since we had the time and space to ourselves, no matter where we are, it seems that there's always someone around. Finally we were alone and we made the most use of it.

Half kissing and half dragging, I got bf into the new meeting room.. I pulled his pants off, giving him a quick blow before he took me from behind.

The raw passion.. the soft grunts from him.. the soft moans from myself.. the rocking table.. Everything was going on so well till we heard the beep.

Damn.. of all times, someone have to return to the office!!

Instinctively, I reached out to switch off the lights, we were in the corner of the meeting room, so my colleague did not notice us when passed by the glass door of the meeting room.. *phwee*

So we were in the meeting room, with my colleague right outside.. What can we do other than keep on going, just keeping the noise down :p It was fun to maximize pleasure whilst minimizing sounds.. The thoughts that at any moment, my colleague would notice that something was wrong and check out the meeting room sent our hearts thumping.

Luckily my colleague was only back at the office to pick some stuff up, so he went off after a short while. With adrenaline still pumping from the near exposé, we swiftly came together and collapsed into a satisfied heap.

It was good, but I don't think I'll try it again in the near future.. My heart is not THAT strong.

Stumbled..

2006-12-08T13:43:00.000+08:00

.. upon something again. I was happily doing my own stuff, surfing and there it was, just staring at me.. I've long gotten over the phase of being obsessed with him, of course he's still charming and blah blah blah, but that interest is no longer there. It was nice to find something about him, but that's it.

It's so typical of me to lose interest in something/someone within a matter of months. Actually months is a very long time for me to be interested in something, usually it's only weeks, like right now, I'm kinda bored of prison break, though I still love Scofield.

Singapore is a small place, the Internet is not that much bigger.

***
Met up with someone recently.

Thank you for shopping with me :) Everyone loved the gifts I chose :p He had seen how I shop; have a shop in mind, go to the shop, get the item, pay and leave. That's my shopping style, quick and to-the-point. I used to like to window shop, but that's coz I was a poor student.. But now that I'm working, I pretty much get what catches my eye at the moment, and that's the reason why I hate shopping with bf coz he stops me from getting the stuff I fancy. It's my money I'm spending, not his, I dun get why I can't buy what I fancy, who cares if the sticker costs 15 bucks, I like it and I'm gonna get it, period.

And yes, I do have a cinnamoroll sticker that costs 15 bucks, I see it, I like it, I buy it. Simple as that.

Oh that person I met.. An interesting character, must get to know him better so that next time if my bf wants to switch his job, maybe he can help *hidden agenda*

Nah, I just enjoy talking to him.

***
Was supposed to meet up with 2 more guys but somehow just too lazy to move my arse.

Sorry, but given a choice to go out or stay home and rot, nine out of ten times, I'll choose the latter. I'm a lazy shit, everyone knows that. My favourite hangout is my bed, right in front of the telly with the cable remote on the right, drinks on the left.

But I shall not be so lazy and I'm gonna meet my babes today :) It's off to Robertson Quay to explore the tons of Japanese restaurants there, then maybe some sinful dessert and home to bf's arms :) That's the perfect way to spend a friday evening :)

Prudes

2006-12-07T12:37:00.000+08:00

I'm surrounded by PRUDES!! My colleagues are so darn conservative and ignorant!

The Bintan trip is really an eye-opener, I realize just how ignorant my colleagues are. See one of my younger colleague was having her menses when we got there, as it's Bintan, beach activities and swimming is a must, so I told her that I brought tampons along and I can lend her if she wants.

Guess what my other colleague and boss said.. NO!! You cannot use tampons, especially for virgins.. blah blah blah.. For a moment, I thought my colleague was talking about the dangers of using a tampon, that Toxic Shock something something.. but no, she's talking about the hymen. *slaps forehead* There are people that's still hung up about hymen?! It's just a flap of skin that must had some use in the past as a way of protecting a young girl's uterus, but it's absolutely useless now.

A tampon is a very useful invention and it's not that hard to use, the first time is difficult, but with practice, it just slides in with ease and sits comfortably inside you that you can't feel it at all.

Oh, this colleague of mine is already in her thirties and unmarried, I'm sure she's a virgin. lao chu nv.. She's darn conservative, to the point that she wears those wet-suit-like swimsuit when we went to the pool. Huh? At least wear a one piece swimsuit, the almost-full body suit, that's weird.

Later on, this colleague and another colleague brought up that they were educated from young that a couple should never touch each other until the day they get married. And they are serious about their no touch, no kissing, no hugging and not even holding hands!! My gosh!! One of them was married and was engaged for 2 years before he got married, in that time period, they never held hands or whatever-not.

What can I say? My thinking is way different from the rest of my department. There's 9 of us in the department, 4 Christians, 4 Catholic and one Agnostic, that's me of course. Most of them are brought up with the religion, thus the conservative thinking, if they ever knew what I do, I have no idea how they will react. In a way, we are very much like a family, though I bitch alot about my boss, I think she do care for me, and she's very tolerant of me and my mood swings.

Though I'm surrounded by prudes, I love working with this bunch of prudes :)

Inconsiderate arsehole!

2006-12-05T10:20:00.000+08:00

I dun care who the person is, unless it's REALLY AN ACCIDENT, don't come expecting my pity..

Bloody idiot got himself/herself on the tracks this morning, at peak hours and caused the train service to disrupt from sembawang to yio chu kang!! It's damn irritating to reach the train station and see such news!! The number of people waiting for the free shuttle as well as the taxi is crazy, it's a good thing my dad is free to send me to work.

Of all days, that arsehole had to choose today!! When I HAVE to be in the office early to prepare for my trip. Fucking inconsiderate fellow!

I dun care what's the reason behind the jump, all I care is that he bloody wasted my time and a lot of other people's time. Do everyone think that just coz he jumps in front of the train, they will get donations like the previous fellow?! What kind of sick society is this?

I would not give my pity, I would go up to that arsehole and stick my middle finger in front of him. He does not deserve pity, copycat suicide are so pathetic, please think of a more innovative way to die, a way which will not inconvenient thousands of commuters trying to get to work and school.

To the arsehole, you deserve no one's pity and life is good to you by letting you die, it should had left you half paralyzed with no one to fucking take care of you and you'll slowly starve while surrounded by only shit and piss.

*majorly pissed off*

I get what I want

2006-12-04T11:28:00.000+08:00

I always do, so despite poor bf being sick and all, I coerce him into booking a room at Fullerton for us on the Xmas weekend :) I get what I want and I don't care about the number of bodies I have to step on to get it. Hey it's a tough world out there, a girl does what she can to survive.

On the Saturday before Xmas, I will be checked-in in style to the lovely Fullerton, have a bottle of wine, four-course meal and a hot tub filled with petals waiting for me :) sounds familiar eh? It's the UOB and Citibank credit card deal, all these for only 300++, cheap cheap!! It's much cheaper than getting a room at Ritz!! And we're talking about Fullerton here... I just love that place..

I have a thing for staying in hotels in Singapore, so far I've been to Rasa, Shangri-La, Trader's Hotel, Swissotel, Raffles the Plaze, Merchant Court, Ritz and The Oriental. My favourite so far is still Rasa for that out-of-singapore feel, but the suite at The Oriental was great too.. Next one to try out shall be Fullerton, followed by Intercontinental. Why hotels in sg? Coz time is of the essence and I don't want to spend the majority of my weekend traveling, plus local hotels are beautiful and relatively cheap if you find the right offers or have the right connections :p Corporate rates are a godsend :p

***
Was supposed to go house-hunting on the weekend, but the appointment was cancelled so I'm stuck in front of the tv for the whole weekend. I'm a certified couch potato.

I found this new channel called Fox Crimes!! Amazing!! I can now watch CSI every single day!! yippee!! Yes, I'm a CSI buff, but I dun really like NY, it's a tab too boring, I still prefer the original Las Vegas.

Watched another episode of Miami Ink, the guys in the show are just amazing.. I'm rethinking the tattoo and the location.. hmm..

巧

2006-12-01T11:09:00.000+08:00

就是那么巧。。是巧？还是命运在耍我？

昨夜我看到了他和她，两个人手握着手，一起逛街。我不该难过，可是心就像被割了一刀，好痛。。真的好痛。。

他们转眼就不见了，可是那一幕却一直在我脑海里重复着。。他幸福，我应该高兴，但我做不到。。我讨厌她，讨厌如此假的东西，贱货！

他一直跟我说他忙，昨天是几个月来第一次逛街，就那么巧给我看到。真的有那么巧吗？上天请不要再耍我了。。

看着他们受手牵手，而我孤零零一个人回家，心情是掉到了谷底。我愣了一夥，不知该走或停。。好想打电话找人倾诉，但不知有谁能了解。都过了那么久，为何还执迷不悟？

我讨厌这样的自己。

结果我去花钱，因为只有钱和自己才是真实。

爱。。痛。。恨。。喜。。一切都是假的，只有自己是真的。

心不再痛了，因为我已把它扔掉。。好轻松 ^^/

Upset

2006-11-30T20:49:00.000+08:00

I saw someone.

I got upset.

I brought a book.

I am happy.

Thank God for credit card and Alastair Reynolds.

Xmas wishlist

2006-11-30T13:29:00.000+08:00

Though I don't really celebrate xmas, I still like to receive gifts :) who doesn't :p

1st on the list..

A Series of Unfortunate Events, all 10 books :) Bf promised to get them for me, let's just see if he makes good on this promise.

2nd..

Next by Michael Crichton.

3rd..

Another year's subscription to both Analog and Asimov's Science Fiction

4th..

My 910sh!! Once it's out that is :p

5th..

Patchi!!! Anyone traveling to the middle east, please buy this chocolate for me!! I'm love with the smoothness of this Lebanese chocolate.. *yum*

No fancy wishes, just books, books and more books :) Maybe I should wish for a bookshelf as well, I want those solid wood kind with doors so that my books will not get dusty.

Of course there should be lovely xmas dinners with my pals and a great session with one of my boys :) Now now, who shall that be??

Tropical Xmas Party

2006-11-30T10:38:00.000+08:00

Finally after the longest debate, we're having our departmental xmas party over in Bintan. Sounds good, yah it does, until the fact we have to pay for our own accommodation and transport sinks in. What kinda fucked up company party is this?

Before we finally decided on Bintan, the team wanted to have it over in JB, but I overthrew the idea coz we just do not have enough time to prepare and go over. After some hard-selling by me and the girls, we convinced the team that a chalet over at East Coast with a bbq was the way to go. They agreed and we made the arrangements, paid the deposit, only to receive a call telling us that they want to go Bintan.

That's what I hate about this department, they can never make decisions and stick to their bloody decisions. And that's why it's so hard for vendors to work with us coz we are damn last minute with everything we do, and the stupid accounts department is always late in making payments. Global bank my foot!

Oh the stupidity does not end here, somehow they have this crazy angel and master idea, so we're supposed to do a gift exchange, which I'm fine with, but not a total of 7 gifts, that's ridiculous!! Everyone is an angel to someone else in the department and everyday, according to the theme, we're supposed to give them a present. Then at the end of the 5 days, we are supposed to give a big gift to our masters and a thank you gift for our angel.

What the heck, sorry but I'm not a very xmas person, I don't celebrate xmas. I took leave in the xmas period so that I can avoid giving gifts and this happens. Damn. Not that I don't like to give out gifts, but we're spending a lot of money on this whole thing. Oh money is not an issue to big boss and boss, but it does to me ok. I don't like to spend money on someone other than myself. Period.

This whole xmas thing is so darn irritating.

The Star

2006-11-29T10:12:00.000+08:00

You are The Star

Hope, expectation, Bright promises.

The Star is one of the great cards of faith, dreams realised

The Star is a card that looks to the future. It does not predict any immediate or powerful change, but it does predict hope and healing. This card suggests clarity of vision, spiritual insight. And, most importantly, that unexpected help will be coming, with water to quench your thirst, with a guiding light to the future. They might say you're a dreamer, but you're not the only one.

What Tarot Card are You?
Take the Test to Find Out.

Now the name of the tarot card reminds me of an amazing story of the same name by Arthur C Clarke. I love the story so much that I actually took the time to type it out, it was an amazing story that blew my mind.

***
Once again I realise how un-trustworthy guys can be, ok I don't think it's a guy's thing, it's more of a people's thing in general.

Again and again, empty promises. I really have enough of it, I'm really tired and I do not need anymore flowery promises that can never be fufilled. What's the point?

The only person I can really trust is myself and the money I have with me, who else can I trust? Who else can I depend on? No one but myself. It's good, I like it this way.

***
D told me he dreamt of me last night.. He can so .. ... .. I wanted to meet him on Friday but since he have his training, then forget it. I'm not that desperate for him, I just wanted to have a nice dinner with him and since he can't make it, then let it be, why come telling me that he dreamt of me. What's the point.

***
It's like waking up from a dream, I finally see the pointlessness of the things that I planned. What for? It's just a waste of time and money. He doesn't care, why should I care? It's just a wedding, no big deal. I should just go ahead and cancel the dinner as well.

Hot

2006-11-27T14:02:00.000+08:00

Make that amazingly hot!

Just look at the way he stares into the camera..

*takes deep breath*

Just finished season 1 of Prison Break over the weekend and I'm on the second episode of season 2. The show is just so interesting, I like the new FBI character, he's so damn smart! The secret services should employ him instead of that weird cowardly guy.. can't be bothered to remember his name.

Scofield Scofield Scofield.. damn he's hot, and I love his tattoo.. If you have the DVD for Prison Break, watch the special on the tattoo, the artist that designed it was amazing, and so is his staff over at his tattoo parlor. There was this guy that was inking a picture of St Michael on his back and wow.. It's amazing.. The overall look, the details. Oh man..

Now I was supposed to get a tattoo before the year end, but.. I think I have to postpone my plans by 3 months at least. Age is really catching up and my skin is not healing as fast as I would like it to.. damn.

But once I'm recover, I'm gonna do it. Was watching Miami Ink last night and w.o.w. they are really good!! I want to be inked by them!

Now how can I afford the tix to Miami??

Fly Kite Friday

2006-11-27T09:34:00.000+08:00

I was looking forward to last friday coz I'm finally got a date with my friend and my parents are off overseas so I have the place all to myself. That's good eh, until everyone started canceling on me and I ended up stuck at home the whole day.

I made my plans with my girlfriend 2 weeks back and she cancelled on me on Friday morning, telling me that it's her first anniversary with her bf, now what can I say? Exactly what can I say? Fine.. And I was thinking of asking her out in the afternoon for some nice afternoon tea before our dinner date. Oh, I was on leave on Friday.

Then bf called and said that his lessons were cancelled and he should be able to meet me in the evening, that's good, at least I have something to do on a Friday evening. But the afternoon went by, the evening went by and I heard nothing from bf.. Nothing at all.. Till 10pm when he appeared at my doorstep.

Ok, his hp went flat, but don't he have a phone in the office? Can't he call me.

Bah..

Then things got worse in the night.. See I understand how guys just wants to get into your pants, but even after I told him I want to take things slow?? We have the whole night ahead of us and he had to rush things through.. What's with that?

***
All is not lost coz I finally gotta go on my msn and talked to an interesting person :p Singapore is really a tiny place, we actually work in the same building..

***
My parents are coming back today, and so is my watch, boots and alcohol :)

Welcome to the Online World of Pretense

2006-11-24T08:19:00.000+08:00

Where nothing you see/read/hear is real. Don't believe me, see it for yourself

http://www.friendster.com/27695156 Pretty malaysian lass eh, pretty face, well-taken photos but a tad too familiar..

Where exactly have I seen her before??

Well the photos are pretty well taken so I browsed through a few, reading the comments, hey you're cute.. blah blah.. oh people are so nice..and then it hit me, I saw her at a Malaysian site before, in fact, I saw her DVD before.

She's a AV 女优 and I like her in her maid uniform, sexy but not too over. I like :)

Oh oh, this is a classic comment

Wow. What a beautiful lady. She looks like she is beautiful on the inside as well as the outside.

Oh yes she's pretty on the inside, she have a nicely shaved pussy and she moans pretty well.

Pretense pretense.. Take everything you see with a pinch of salt. I had a good laugh at all the comments and I can't believe how stupid people are. Are they really that desperate to meet pretty people??

We are all curious adults

2006-11-23T11:46:00.000+08:00

This came from the trainer who was teaching us on how to use the new and "powerful" system that the co had implemented. Yah, powerful when you consider the fact that all administrators have the power to edit, delete all other administrator's work, and all that without an audit trail, wow..

So that is the reason why the guy kept on going, "We're all curious adults, but please don't try those functions out. What I'm telling you is FYI only, please do not try it out though I understand that we are all curious adults."

And he mentioned the phrase at least 3 times. Yes, we get the point.

In a way, he's right, we are all curious being and we like to know what things are for. Sometimes we do not like to be told what things are like, we want to experience them ourselves, thus along came the string of flings.

Flings are fun, pretty satisfying if you know what you are looking for. Never look for love and affection in flings coz it will only disappoint you, FBs are one of the most practical people I've ever met, once the fuck is over, that's about it, they will not call you or whatever not until there's another need to meet. Well I'm like so too, I will not call the person if I have no desire to fuck them, we're FBs mah, there's no real need to build a relationship. And things can get complicated if you start treating your FB as a friend, Sex and the City showed us that eons ago.

But things with someone is somewhat different. I can't say I know him that well but I like to consider him as a friend more than a FB. I guess it's just the vibes he gives me, and he gives a good cuddle after sex :) It helps that we have the same interests, a person who reads can never be too bad :p

We had a quick lunch yesterday, all thanks to my boss who insisted that I go back for a meeting. Damn her. Lunch was good coz company was great and so was the kiss when we parted.

So to my dear man, we need to get together for something more even more satisfying real soon *winks* And you still owe me coffee :p

Nihon jin?

2006-11-22T17:52:00.000+08:00

Nihon jin desu ka?

Watashi mo? Jya arimasen, watashiwa singaporu jin desu.

It's pretty flattering to be mistaken as a Japanese, I can't recall the number of times I was mistaken for a Japanese since young and especially when I'm travelling.

Well it's way better than being mistaken as da lu mei, which I get pretty often too.. Hey just coz I speak good mandarin doesn't mean I'm from China ok.. Guess I'm fair to look like a local, oh well..

I need a tan badly but .. .. haiz.. ..

It's not a pretty sight. *sad*

The Global Orgasm for Peace Day

2006-11-21T18:45:00.000+08:00

Mark this date: 22 Dec 2006, it's the Global Orgasm for Peace Day.. Man, only the Americans can think of something like so.

But it's for a good cause and it can make you feel darn good, so why not :p Check out the official site http://www.globalorgasm.org

Here's something from the site..

The intent is that the participants concentrate any thoughts during and after orgasm on peace. The combination of high- energy orgasmic energy combined with mindful intention may have a much greater effect than previous mass meditations and prayers.

The goal is to add so much concentrated and high-energy positive input into the energy field of the Earth that it will reduce the current dangerous levels of aggression and violence throughout the world.

So let's start the countdown :p

World Peace

Oh, I forgot to mention that I'm on leave on that day *grinz*

Familiar

2006-11-21T13:50:00.000+08:00

The all-too-familiar scent lingers on my fingers.

The familiar message.. the familiar reply.. the familiar elevator ride.. the familiar car park.. the familiar spot.. the familiar smile.. the familiar kiss.. the familiar him..

It's been so long yet everything is so familiar :)

It was short and sweet.. with a tinge of bitterness.. I like :)

Now it's time to familiarize with the other parts of him *grinz*

Broken

2006-11-20T12:44:00.000+08:00

This word just popped into my mind and the next thing that came up is D. No surprise that I link broken with D, he broke my heart 2 years back and it's around this time period when he finally announced that he don't see me in his future anymore, but he still loves me and maybe this is not the right time. Huh? excuse me but that's the lamest reason to break up with someone, to think I actually believed him.

I am a fool, all who falls in love are fools.

D screwed me up bad, he got me broken into tiny pieces, I never felt that bad in my life, ever. But thank goodness for the supporting friends and the ever handy FB, friends to occupy my days and FB to occupy my nights.

Broken hearts and broken promises.. .. D promised he will never make me cry, but he did it so many times when we were together.. Never make a promise you cannot keep, that's why I never make any promises, coz I know I will soon break them.

This sounds pathetic but from that relationship, I learnt not to give my all. Giving your all means the controlling power is in the hands of your other half, I don't like that, I like to hold the reins, I want to be the one in control. That's what I have now, controlling power and the power to steer the relationship in the direction I like.

But it's not all smooth sailing, sweetie is a liar at times and a lousy one at that. There are things he's keeping from me but it's ok, I'm not curious to know.

***
Sweetie is starting on a course and it's gonna take up quite a few of his weekday nights :) good news for me :) I've asked 5 persons out and so far I got myself a date on Friday with a sweet babe, a quickie tomorrow.. Let's see what else would come up :)

Year end is the most interesting time of the year :)

October and November

2006-11-20T12:03:00.000+08:00

I've seen so much and so little, all happening in these two months.

First is my Dubai trip, which happened in the first week of Nov, but preparation work took up most of Oct.. so much so that I took a cab back every night, meaning it's all 12 hours day in the month of Oct.

Impressions of Dubai, it's not somewhere I would go if I have the money, coz it's a boring place like Singapore. There's only shopping and the handful of tourist attractions, 3 days is enough to fully experience Dubai. Oh the desert experience was interesting, but that's about it. I don't get what's so interesting about camel rides, those poor creatures are all tied up and looking bored. I dunno, I'm never one for animal rides, it just does not make sense to me.

Oh, I have a good boss who gave us a world class experience over in Dubai, the limo ride (no hummer coz I was too tired), the dinner at Marina (opp Burj Al Arab), the lunch at Al Muntaha (in Burj Al Arab), the USD200 shopping money and the Tiffany key ring. At least I've been to Dubai and stepped in the Burj Al Arab, so it's not a wasted trip.

And of course the cute guys over in Dubai, not many but enough for me to last for 8 days. No I did not have a good fuck over there, there was simply no time. Damn..

When I got back to sg, things started to go downhill coz of the rashes I had. I'm allergic to something in Dubai, most probably the water or air, and I got itchy rashes all over. First I went to a sensei who told me it's a small case?! Hello.. I'm itching all over and he told me it's a small case? And then he actually put Mopiko on for me?! First it was the Mopiko, second was that he touched me without asking. Argh.. dirty old man, who cares if he's a "doctor", the least he could do is inform me that he's gonna lay his hands on me.

Despite the Mopiko and the awful medicine that the sensei gave, the rashes did not go away so it's off the doctor's. I got an injection which was not painful (think I'm used to needles since uni days) but it knocked me out in 10 minutes. It's one thing to be drowsy, it's another to be KO. That showed just how weak I was :p but with ample sleep and loads of care from mummy dearest and sweetie, I'm more of less recovered. The rashes are 80% gone, probably another week's of peeling skin is all I have to endure.. BUT.. I think there is some scarring and once again it's my waist area. Damn it.

Stopped my intake of Yasmin coz of the rashes, the doc mentioned that it might be the cause of the allergy.. There's something I hate about allergies and it's the difficulty to pinpoint exactly what caused the allergic reaction. The worst thing is that it can happen at anytime, so even if you have been taking something for years, you can suddenly develop an allergic response to it.

My verdict on Yasmin, it's very good. Menstrual cramps are minimal, so is menstrual flow; Skins clears up beautifully despite the busy schedule, is less oily at the end of the day; weight loss wise, I can't really tell coz I really don't have much weight to lose, that's not to say I don't have fats, just that I do not have the excess weight; oh an unexpected side effect, Yasmin gave me fuller bust :p serious, I dunno why but my sweetie thinks so too. So that's good reasons for me to continue with the pills, I just pray that it's not the cause of my allergies.

After the longest lull due to work, allergies and lack of interest, I finally had a very satisfying session with my sweetie. The feel of his hardness in me, the warmth of his cum, my wetness.. all these adds up for a very fulfilling fuck :)

I'm looking forward to a slow and relaxed december, with boss on leave on the first few weeks and me on leave in the last week :) It's gonna be a great month.

View from the top

2006-11-16T18:21:00.000+08:00

Dubai does have a very pretty coastline.. artifical but nice to me anyway.

Here's the view from Al Muntaha, the restaurant on the 27th floor (which is actually the 54th floor) of Burj Al Arab. The beach is so clean and that water is so clear, was so tempted to swim or just bask around but.. haiz.. I hardly have time to sleep when I was there.

If you look carefully, that's Palm Island. Nice eh, the view from the restaurant is power, on the other side, I could vaguely see The World ^^/ It's not a wasted trip, at least I gotta see the famous places in Dubai :p

Oh the food at Al Muntaha is pretty good.. and very very expensive!! But I'm not the one footing the bill, so it's lobster for starters, wagyu steak for main, an assortment of desserts with my fav Moroccan mint tea to finish the meal : ) I think the meal cost about SGD400 per person coz the lobster is already around 100, the wagyu steak is 200 and the crazy amount of desserts plus drinks...

That is the lifestyle of the rich and famous..

Oh oh.. They have the best foie gras ever.. It was so so so good, you think Julien's (?) at waterboat house serves the best foie gras? My boss only gave it a 7 and the foie gras at Al Muntaha got a 10!! The texture is like melted ice-cream, it just disappears in your mouth.. Make that melted B&J, it was sublime..

Change? Look deeper

2006-11-16T17:26:00.000+08:00

People change all the time, usually it's very minor changes but sometimes they change into an entire new person.. But is it so??

From shy to boisterous, from sociable to anti-social, are these changes real? Or are they just for show? When you look deeper and closer, more often than not, you will find that the changes are really surface and once given the chance, they will be back to what they always were. A good example is me, I changed alot when I was with D, I became more conservative in my dressing and I actually start to get jealous when D talks to other girls. But that's not the real me, I'm never a conservative dresser and I never see the point of being jealous.

But I changed coz D wants me to be like so, and at that time, I really thought that his way was the way I should conduct myself. So from the cute friendly girl, I became this conservative, anti-social fellow. Right after we broke up, I see the foolishness of the change and before long, I'm out with my mini skirt and tank tops, it was liberating to not have to wear jeans and tee and still have someone complain that I'm revealing too much, what era was he living in?!

I used to get jealous when D talks to girls coz he thinks that being jealous is a sign that I care.. huh? I don't get it but I went with him, see how stupid falling in love can make you? Anyway with my sweetie now, I never get jealous when he talks to girls or any of his net god-sisters. What's the point of getting jealous? I trust him not to be stupid and he knows his limit, so what's wrong with a little friendly flirting?

Recently I talked to a friend and I was shocked initially at how much he had changed, so much so that I thought I got the wrong person. But after spending some time to talk to him, his true nature starts to come through. So that proves my point that change is really very surface most of the time. Shall not call him any names coz it's not my call to judge him and as long as his beau thinks that he had changed, well that's good for him.

Ah.. the world of pretense..

Affairs.. man vs woman

2006-11-15T16:16:00.000+08:00

For the benefit of those who cant read chinese..

1. Woman cheat with their left brains whilst man cheat with their right brains. (or is that the other way wrong?? Damn, I'm bad with this whole left, right, zuo, you, mige, hidari thing..)

2. Woman cheats with her mind whilst man cheat with their bodies. (not true for me, I don't go falling in love with my flings.. At least I try not to.)

3. I dunno how to translate this part.. move, don't move? huh? My mandarin is going down the drains..

4. Woman prefers hotel coz it's private whilst man prefer their fling's place coz it's cheaper. (haha.. guys, true? For me, I still prefer hotels coz it's more convenient though someone's place is pretty nice :) )

5. Woman have flings with the person she loves whilst man have flings with the person who loves them. (it's really more fun to have a fling with someone you enjoy spending time with than with someone you really like. Less stress, more fun, no emotional burdens. o.k.a.y. sometimes I go a little too far but I always manage to pull myself back at the last moment.)

6. After a fling, woman are cold to their partners whilst man treat their partners tenderly. (Well I treat my sweetie especially nice coz after every fling, I would realise that he's the one I love most.. serious :p Flings have its plus points too, other than amazing sex :p )

7. Woman would prefer to have a overseas fling whilst man prefer to have mistress in China (coz overseas fling is such a romantic notion. Travelling alone and you meet this person who is so absolutely amazing.. you know you can't be together but you just can't help falling for the person. Condensed romance..)

8. Woman are more open with their affairs whilst man are more secretive.

9. A hug is enough to satisfy a woman while a man needs a fuck to be satisfied.

10. A woman's affair is like a momento, the memory is enough to satisfy her; A man's affair is like a drug addiction, try once and he's hooked. ( hmm.. My flings are all pretty short, not coz I'm satisfied with the memories but coz I get bored, there really is only so much you can do. So there. But there are people that you just want to meet over and over again. )

So there.. my lousy translation, can't do a better job coz my sweetie is coming over to pick me up and I gotta go cake-hunting :p Oh forgive my horrible grammar.. This is the writing of a person who's trying very hard not to scratch herself..

Damn Dubai.. damn the allergies.. damn the rashes.

Temptations in Dubai

2006-11-14T17:20:00.000+08:00

postdated 8/11/06

Temptations abound!! There's so so many cute guys in my group and my beloved T is here!!

My event is a regional affair so we had people from all over the region, with lots of pretty faces. Well these people are top sales, so is it surprising that many are darn cute too? My boss, who was a top sales and branch manager before, told me that you don't have to be smart to be a good sales, you just need to have that people's factor.

Well there's this super pretty lady from Malaysia with the sweetest face I've ever seen, I was so tempted to just kiss her. I can imagine her with her clients..

Pretty babe:: Would you like to invest 10k?
Client:: drools
Pretty babe:: Would you like to invest 50k instead?
Client:: drools more
Pretty babe:: It's a deal then, please sign here and here.
Client:: blindly signs and walks off a happy man

She's really one hot babe..

Then there's this uber cute Korean guy :)

Cute? Ok, the photo don't do him justice but he's really cute in person. I like the way he struggles to talk to me in English, just so kawaii!! And he always makes it a point to walk over to say hi :) Oh, he sings very well too.. I like..

He made me darn tempted to find out what a Korean guy is like in bed :p but then.. Nah, we're colleagues afterall and he's the super flirt kind with girls around him all the time..

Anyway T is on the trip with us and :) :) :) He's cute as usual and have I ever mentioned that he's a photographer? I just love guys who takes good photos :) of me especially :) Make me look good and I'll love you. I'm always a little shy when I'm around him, I was blushing when he whistled at me when I was in my evening dress.. *blush* *blush*

Then tonight when we're over at the campsite, we had quite a bit of time to just chit chat :) As the sand was darn soft and stupid me was in heels, I hung on to him most of the time :) hee.. actually I could balance myself but when there's a cute guy I can hold on to, why not? It's a real nice feeling holding on to someone that you fancy :) I should had done the almost-fall-down trick and see if I end up in his arms.. hee..

T is actually a pretty shy fellow, we can talk about everything when we are alone but when we're in a crowd, he gets very quiet.. I wonder if he have a girlfriend now.. hmm..

Oh then there's the incredibly good-looking guy from Philippines.. he looks totally like a star. And there's these two cute Japanese tourists, the cute hotel manager.. The list goes on.

But I still think that T and the Korean cutie would be my first choice, but one learns never to mix work and pleasure, so I'm keeping my hands off them. At least I have photos and some sweet memories..

Man, I need a good fuck!!! It's been so long since I've have a good one and being in the midst of so many cute guys DO NOT HELP. Korean korean korean.. I want!!!

Micro-management

2006-11-14T15:13:00.000+08:00

postdated 5/11/06

That bitch excels at micro-management and it irks the hell out of me. See when someone is heading a project, they should never micro-manage coz it irritates the staff and gives people unnecessary stress.

As a project manager, one should be on top of things and not in the midst of things. But that stupid bitch have to stick her nose in every single thing and then complain that she do not have enough time to manage everything. ya-ya..

Spend more time on the little things and one will eventually lose focus on the goal. What's more important? Getting to the goal or wondering if the colour of your shoelace matches your top?

I can't stand the bitch when she tries to show that she's in charge. She likes to correct us, so much so to the extend that she will watch us do something wrong (according to her that is) and then correcting us, telling us that it must be done in so-and-so manner. *cough* She was right in front of us, she could see what we are doing, why not tell us straight on what to do instead of letting us waste the time to do it in a manner that she does not like and getting us to correct it? What exactly is she trying to achieve?

People around her are starting to see through the tough facade that she's building for herself. S is her assistant and even S could not be bothered to reply her at times. We are that pissed off with her. That bitch will dump all the work on S and myself and happily goes to her room to rest. We are humans too, we need to rest too.

Bitch..

Gross

2006-11-14T14:52:00.000+08:00

postdated 3/11/06

I like S, she's a good colleague and gossip-mate, but when it comes to hygiene.. eww..

I don't think it was on purpose, but when it happened twice.. yucks...

See twice in a row, I've found short curly hair on the toilet seat. Now only two people uses the toilet and the hair is definitely not mine coz I check the seat before and after I use it so.. ... ew...

Then this morning.. I found the toilet unflushed!! argh!! I don't use the toilet at night, so there.

Then there's the bitch.. She is an animal I tell you, no table manners at all. I do not have the best table manners, I eat with my elbows on the table, but at least I know the basics of cutleries from inside out and that you don't slurp when you drink your soup..

Now that bitch.. We are in a 5 star hotel, having breakfast in a lovely indoor garden and she have to stir her tea by clanking the spoon against the cup for the whole world to listen. It does not end there, after announcing to the whole world that she's stirring her tea, she had to leave the teaspoon in the cup. Hello.. we're not in a god-damn hawker centre lor, what the fuck is she doing leaving her spoon in the cup? It's embarrassing to be on the same table as her.

That bitch slurps.. ALOT.. It's like eating with my dog. Oh I love my dog, I love her to bits, but I don't like her dining manners, well, she's a dog, so I can't blame her. But that bitch.. .. .. ..

Humans eat with utensils, we use the utensils to bring the food to our mouths. But that bitch can't seem to understand that, in order to drink her soup, she will bend down till her mouth is almost touching the bowl, then use her spoon to bring the soup to her mouth, at the same time slurping loudly like nobody's business. She acts like my dog drinking from her bowl, with the exception that she uses a spoon when my dog will use her tongue directly.

The same goes for her hot drinks... For goodness sake, what's the handle on the cup for?? For us to hold and bring the cup to our mouth!! Nope, she will pull the same stunt, but this time round, slurp directly from the cup.

Disgusting habits..

I need civilized company.. tea anyone?

On my nerves

2006-11-14T14:36:00.000+08:00

backdated post 2/11/06

It's my first day in Dubai and things are already getting on my nerves..

First we got stuck at the customs for more than an hour coz of this stupid walkie talkie that we've brought along. I have no idea why we had to declare them, but we stupidly did and that got us stuck at the customs for more than an hour and our talkies retained. Bah.. That's what you pay to be a good citizen.. chey

After a short rest and breakfast, we went over to the bank to withdraw some cash, only to be rejected coz my colleague did not have his passport with him.. Darn local guide did not inform us that his passport was required so we had to go back to the hotel then off to another branch for withdrawal.

A measly 60,000dh cheque and it took the bank more than 2 hours just to cash it out.. duh.. That's like only 20k USD, what kinda approval do they need? My gosh.. And the staff there are not friendly, oh they do their work, but other than that, they don't care if you're dead or alive, not to mention smile at you. The people in Dubai are darn cold.

Other than the long wait, my colleagues also pissed me off with their silly questions.. Hey, I was tired after the long flight, ask me silly questions, be thankful I did not flare. Anyway he got this laptop trolley bag along and he had to ask if it's big enough to carry all the cash. DUH.. it's only 60k, not a million, of course there's enough space, and you dare call yourself a banker. Oh, not only did one colleague ask the question, the stupid bitch asked me the same question.. argh.. I'm surrounded by stupid people.

After my long hot trip to the bank, that bitch have to irritate me again. My colleague S shares the room with me and we're in the room, we like to take off our shoes. That bitch came over to our room to work on some stuff and walked all over the room with her shoes on. Trying to be nice, I asked her to take her shoes off since that's what we do and guess what, she refused to do say, mentioning that she's leaving soon! What the Fuck?!

Hello.. excuse me, but you're in my god-damn room, can you even give me the least bit of respect? I asked point blank for her to take her shoes off and she came up with this lame-ass excuse. My god, she's a sorry excuse of a human being.

postnote:: The next few days with her were just as horrid, I hate working with the bitch..

Back home and in the office

2006-11-14T10:58:00.000+08:00

Was back on the 10th and finally stepped into office 2 hours back..

There's tons of emails to look through and I'm not at my best.. Dubai gave me allergies and I have rashes all over. The medication is not doing much except making me sleepy.. argh..

Shall update once I've cleared my mails.. have a few handwritten entries whilst I was over in boring Dubai.

That place is really boring and the food more or less sucks.

Leaving on a Jet Plane

2006-11-01T13:31:00.000+08:00

and I shall be back on the 10th.

Tata ^^/

Reckless

2006-10-31T11:23:00.000+08:00

There are bad drivers and there are bad cab drivers. With the good, there's always some bad mixed into it.

Last friday I took a Comfort cab home, the driving was ok, not jerky or anything. But what impressed me was how calm the cabbie was at handling situations. There was this horrid driver who cut into our lane without signaling and with only one car space between us and the car in front of us. Instead of jamming the brakes like 90% of drivers would, the cabbie tapped his brake and steered the vehicle to the right to avoid hitting that bastard driver. All these are done in silence, no harsh words, no cursing, just plain smooth driving.

Anyone who's been in a cab know how irritating some drivers can be, mumbling curses at every other vehicle, but this guy was cool joe. *impressed*

If I were the driver, I would tail that bastard and reported him to the police for dangerous driving. That asshole! Some people DO NOT HAVE THE RIGHTS to drive, just coz they have the money to buy a car does not mean that they can drive.

Fucking road hazard. Oh, is it a surprise that his rear was already dented?!

I concluded that my cabbie must have went through defensive driving lessons, coz that's what they teach, in an emergency situation, always tap your brake, look for an opening, then steer your vehicle towards that opening when applying your brakes. Slamming on your brakes does not work as well as tapping it first then slowly depressing it, even a non-driver like me knows that, I wonder what they teach in driving school.

Last night I left the office after midnight and got on to a Silver cab. I did not have a good feeling the moment I board the cab, what is it with the silence? Can't he switch on the radio? It's so nice and quiet I can fall asleep.. almost..

Anyway he got me home in 20 minutes but it was a terrifying ride. He's driving at an average of 120kmph, and I'm ok with that, hey I love speed, the faster, the more exciting.. Damn.. I miss D and his bike :(

Back to the cabbie, what I'm not ok with is his constant changing of lanes just so that he could go faster. Hello, I'm not in a rush, even if I am, I would not ask the driver to do that, coz it is dangerous. It's not dangerous coz the driver is lousy, it's dangerous coz there are lousy drivers who will panic when they meet such reckless drivers. I have confidence in my driver, I don't have confidence in other drivers.

And I don't really see the point of him speeding just so he can see the rearview mirror of the car in front of us, then slow down and change lane. Is it that hard to drive at a constant speed? Judging by the cabbies I've taken in the last 6 months, I would say yeah, most drivers have no fucking idea how to drive at a constant speed. They accelerate, then slow down, then accelerate again. Out of 10 drivers, only 2~3 knows how to drive at a constant speed. I don't think it's an issue with their vehicles, coz I've been in those damn old cabs and yet the ride is smooth.

There were a couple of times where we passed by cars with less than 30cm of allowance, and that's not all. There was one time where my cabbie tried to chase an Integra. Hello!! That's a fucking Integra and you are a fucking cab, what makes you think you can outrun him??

Then he went off the expressway exit at 80 and almost hit the car in front if he had not applied his hand brake. Yes, mark my words, he used his freaking handbrakes to stop the car!! What the ************!!!!! It's bad enough that you are traveling so fast that your normal brakes can't slow you down and you have to use your engine brake, but to the extent of using handbrake. I must say it's a first.

I've been in so many cars and I've never seen a driver use their handbrake to slow the car. I'm surprised I got home in one piece.

***
This morning, I saw another piece of recklessness. I really don't get these people.. haiz.. See I saw this couple on a bike, no biggie, a skinny guy and a fat gf I thought..

Oh I was so wrong, the girl was not fat, she's pregnant!!! Using my inexperienced eyes, I would say she's 5~6 months pregnant, and there she was, traveling on a bike. Now what the fuck is wrong with these people? Can't she take a cab, she's pregnant for goodness sake!! If not for herself, what about her baby?!

Some people so not deserve to be parents.

Never Judge a Book by its Cover

2006-10-30T10:26:00.000+08:00

Or more appropriately in my case, never judge a DVD by its cover. Now make that a porn DVD :p

Sweetie and I brought almost 60 DVDs over the week and it got delivered to us yesterday :) Email me if you wanna know how to get DVD from our friendly neighbors without leaving your room :p Oh, the more you order, the cheaper the DVDs are, I got mine for 4 bucks a piece, pretty reasonable considering the quality.

Anyway we got this adult DVD :p with this gorgeous Korean model on the cover. We had doubts when we ordered that particular piece of DVD coz that model was not known for acting in such shows, but since it's only 4 bucks, we just got it.. and our doubts were right.

The cover was very nicely done and when we turn the DVD on, they have the appropriate credits in Korean and stuff, it looked like the real deal. But that's where it ends, a man speaking in cantonese cut in and we got lousy porn acting by a prostitute.. argh.. yuck..

And the worst thing, she actually wore grandma undies!! Omg!! The least she could do is wear a pair of thongs, but grandma panties?! Lucky sweetie's friend ordered some decent jap porn so we had a much more enjoyable time skipping through the scenes. Japanese girls are so cute in their aprons and uniforms! :p

I can't wait for my leave, now that I have 2 sets of Taiwanese idol drama, Prison Break, NCIS and Hunter X Hunter waiting for me at home :) Oh, not to mention Lost season 3 that sweetie had downloaded!!

Oh oh.. Sweetie also got this show called Chai Lai Angel *slaps forehead* No, I do not really enjoy Thai films, except for this ghost film with incredibly cute guys :p I like I like I like!

Tender

2006-10-27T18:06:00.000+08:00

Soft lips showering light kisses on my face..

Warm hands working their magic on my body..

Whispers found its way to my ear.. whispers of tender love..

The warmth of his body against mine..

The feeling of being one..

His tenderness.. ..

Missing D

2006-10-26T18:47:00.000+08:00

Been thinking about him and dreaming of my dear D. I wonder why.. ..

***
Been feeling so disconnected lately, I hate it when work consumes all of my time.. I miss all the fun I had with the guys.. I miss him, I miss someone, I miss my Angel and I miss D.. ..

Opinions

2006-10-26T12:53:00.000+08:00

It's good to gather opinions, to find out what other people think, but you're a project leader for goodness sake, please make your own decisions. When I just started working with her, I never understood why she have so much work to do, she seems to be staying back late everyday and she still can't finish her work. It was only till I worked with her on a project before I understood.

She can't bloody make decisions.

Just like yesterday, it's just a simple matter of choosing the color of the identification tag that we're gonna wear when we're in Dubai. For me, the decision takes 2 minutes tops, I'll just choose something striking, period. Not for her, she must send us an email to ask for opinions. Ok then, we gave her our thoughts and guess what, she refuse to accept our opinion and spends 10 minutes trying to convince us that her private decision was the better option.

Huh? If you have already decided what to do, then do it, why ask for opinion then don't accept it? Instead of wasting the time to convince us, just make a decision and I can live with that. Don't come wasting my time telling me that black is a better color, blah blah blah. It's just a god-damn color for goodness sake, do it really matter?!

I dunno what's wrong with her, is her confidence level so low that she needs our affirmations before she dares to make a decision? It's always these little things that takes up most of her time, if she knows how to make snap decisions and get on with things, we would not have all the last minute work like what we have now. It was another 13 hour day last nite with her disappearing after 8pm. I know she returns after 2~3 hours, but I don't like to take dinner when I work late, I rather get things done and over with as soon as I can. If she likes to stay till the wee hours of the night, that's her issue. Besides, I'm the one that comes into the office at 9am in the morning while she takes her own sweet time and comes in at 11am.

I know my big boss is demanding and at times he asks for the rationale for our decisions, why do we decide on this and not that. I usually make the reasons on the spot and he's usually cool with them. Things needs to be thought through thoroughly, but if you think through everything, you would not have time for bigger things. Instead of wasting time to think through on tiny details, why don't we save the time for more important decisions?

Let's do it tonight

2006-10-25T13:15:00.000+08:00

Usually I would love to hear that, but when it comes from my boss, I'm ... argh..

Excuse me but I have a life, just because you fucking bitch don't have a life does not mean that I don't have one. I would like to leave on time and go back home to do MY OWN STUFF.

I'm not obligated to stay after official hours to get work done, I do it out of my own sense of responsibility. Damn my sense of responsibility.

Please don't make it sound like I have nothing to do, with the trip coming next week, I have a lot of preparation work to do, I'm even back in the office yesterday to get things done. I hate it when someone do not have a life other than work assuming that other people are like her. Hello, I have better things to do other than work.

No, I'm so not interested to do it tonight. And please do not assume that other people have nothing better to do.

I want to postpone this training, there's too much things to do with too little time. The training materials are not even ready for goodness sake! And that's the piece that my boss would like me to do TONIGHT. Fuck.. She don't seem to understand that a lot of time and effort goes into changing the materials, it's not just a matter of adding things in and taking slides out, do she know how much fucking work is involved to compare two fucking long documents? No, of course she do not know, coz I'm the one doing the shit job whilst she;s the one that goes, let's take out this, this and that. Things are always easier said than done.

There's so many other things that I would rather do tonight, like watching my dramas, having a proper dinner with my sweetie, packing my luggage, doing any other thing other than work.

*irritated*

***
8pm update

So much so for let's do it tonite.. bah.. I'm still in the office and she's gone.

Let's do it tonight.. might as well say to me, YOU do it tonite..

Oh, so what if she went for check up and had 5 tubes of blood drawn? I was sick the other time, I went to the hospital to have 5 tubes of blood drawn and I bloody rushed back to the office for a bloody meeting!

Fuck, dun come and give me that "I'm not feeling well" excuse. If you expect me to be in the office when I'm on MC, then you bloody hell stay back in the office if we need to get things done.

Double-standard hypocrite.